The use of mobile phone is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phone should be banned like smoking. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is true that both mobile
phones
and smoking should be prohibited on specified sites. Use synonyms
While
I accept there is a need to be considered as an unsocial and forbidden action in some places, I believe that smartphones' beneficiaries can even be more these days.
On the one hand, I agree that cell Linking Words
phones
can potentially exacerbate social conditions as smoking would be disgusting at parents' homes, parties, and offices. The first reason stems from the lousy sense a person can transmit to Use synonyms
friends
located around them. Use synonyms
In other words
, if people who are addressed by their families at home, Linking Words
friends
in parties, and colleagues in meetings do not focus on them, it will lead to the existence of a wedge between them. Use synonyms
For example
, their girlfriend/boyfriend may take into account them as the scum of the earth, resulting to emotionally cut. Linking Words
Additionally
, it should conscientiously be admired that having a low capability of communication originates from just working with these technological devices when being among Linking Words
friends
, especially from the formative periods of children, rather than speaking our minds and setting our priorities right to each other. Use synonyms
As a result
, we will be brought out like a cold fish, and society will see many isolated people. Needless to say, smoking can Linking Words
also
create distinguished weaknesses in our body.
Linking Words
However
, I would argue that, unlike smoking, mobile Linking Words
phones
will have useful social effects for family, Use synonyms
friends
, and work gatherings. Use synonyms
Firstly
, we can record a lot of pleasant moments with our mobile Linking Words
phones
. Years after, reviewing the photos taken at the parties and gatherings can give a great sense of red-letter and live the mention of darlings who were dead many years ago. Use synonyms
Secondly
, online communication is of paramount importance. Linking Words
For example
, being with Linking Words
friends
and partners who do not accept smoking, video calls are an opportunity for co-workers to set their priorities right, Use synonyms
as well as
a concerned mother making sure that her child is in safe hands in far-off countries because of emigrating for some reason. Linking Words
Therefore
, smartphones are efficient devices in Linking Words
such
situations, and Linking Words
friends
should not ban them.
In conclusion, I think it should be looked at relatively that Use synonyms
although
cell Linking Words
phones
similar to smoking may be unsocial and ought to be banned in some places, thanks to their detrimental influences, I believe that not only should prohibitive restrictions not be used in the other sites but Use synonyms
also
it is better off encouraging by the government.Linking Words
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task achievement
Your essay covers both sides of the argument, which is great for a balanced task response. However, try to make each point more distinct and concise, ensuring each paragraph discusses a unique idea or perspective. Avoid repetition of ideas.
coherence cohesion
While your ideas flow logically, work on connecting them more clearly by using linking words inside the paragraphs. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Try including more specific examples or studies to strengthen your arguments. While personal opinions are useful, they should be supported by research or case studies where possible.
introduction conclusion present
You've provided a clear introduction that sets the stage for your discussion. This establishes a good foundation for your essay.
introduction conclusion present
You have a structured conclusion that appropriately summarizes your stance on the topic, reconnecting to the points made earlier in the essay.
task achievement
Your essay acknowledges the complexity of the topic and addresses multiple perspectives, showing depth in your thought process.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.