Some people think that young people should spend free time with families instead of outside entertainment, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The way the current generation of young people chooses to spend their free
time
has been a controversial topic for decades. Many believe that youngsters should spend most of their spare
time
with their
families
whereas
others find it best to enjoy outside recreational activities. In my opinion, a balance of both is the optimum way in the long run. In present times where most career-oriented people spend
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
majority of their
time
away from their
families
in order to make a sustainable living for themselves, it is expected of them to invest their free
time
bonding with their
families
. In fact, many individuals prefer to travel every week just to be with their loved ones over the weekends.
This
not only helps to strengthen the emotional bonding among family members but
also
teaches them essential virtues of human life.
For instance
, it is a common tradition to spend festivities
such
as Thanksgiving and Christmas with your loved ones.
On the other hand
, many people experience privacy issues
while
being with their
families
.
This
is highly prominent in joint
families
,
hence
individuals choose to indulge in outside entertainment
such
as clubbing or partying with friends
instead
of family members. Another key factor is the accessibility of various attractive recreational activities and sports which lures these millennials to spend their free
time
enjoying on their own.
This
,
however
, does not imply they prefer not to bond with their
families
at regular intervals. To summarize, it is an individual's preference whether to spend his
time
connecting with his loved ones or engage himself in external sources of entertainment. Both aspects are essential for a healthy and blissful life and must be followed in a balanced format.
Submitted by Nirbhay on

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coherence cohesion
Consider introducing more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between ideas.
task achievement
Introduce more specific examples or evidence to support your views, particularly when discussing the benefits of spending time with family or engaging in outside entertainment.
logical structure
You've managed an overall well-structured essay with a clear introduction, supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion that restates your main points effectively.
complete response
Your essay provides a balanced view on both perspectives, indicating an understanding of the task and its requirements.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your usage of topic-specific vocabulary and clear expression of ideas contributes positively to the readability of your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • bond
  • relationship
  • communication
  • experience
  • learn
  • opportunity
  • exposure
  • culture
  • perspective
  • development
  • interest
  • skill
  • socialize
  • peer
  • broaden
  • horizon
  • opinion
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