In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?
Society always expects people to give their best
while
usually a few of them can sustain. Linking Words
However
, it has been observed that some seem to exert more effort than the average person. Linking Words
This
essay will discuss why some people work harder than others and whether it is always a positive thing.
One of the motivations behind Linking Words
this
is a drive to achieve something for themselves or their family. The students and workers know that it is necessary to sacrifice their personal leisure time to apply earnest effort so that they can succeed in school and the workplace, and eventually acquire recognition and financial rewards Linking Words
as well as
satisfy their family’s expectations. Another reason is personal love for what they are doing. Linking Words
For example
, some scholarly students just simply love to go to extra mile to study and understand more in the academic area they are interested in. Linking Words
Also
, some employees have a deep passion for improving their skills and creating value for their company and customers.
Despite that most individuals applaud Linking Words
such
constant commitment, I still believe hard work is not always a good thing for individuals, especially when they can’t balance their life and work. A single-minded focus on one’s task may temporarily be effective, but Linking Words
finally
, they will become inefficient Linking Words
due to
fatigue body and mind, Linking Words
thus
leading to poor results. In the long run, Linking Words
this
may result in some health problems Linking Words
such
as back pain and short-sightedness. Everyone needs to recharge their body and mind to continue making progress in their area.
In conclusion, it is great that some people invest dedicated effort in their studies and jobs for their desires or personal interests. Linking Words
Nonetheless
, they need to slow down sometimes so that their performance and health do not suffer.Linking Words
Submitted by georgiana0818 on
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Structural Improvement
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Ideas and Examples
Your essay brings forth clear and comprehensive ideas with relevant examples, which greatly supports your discussion. Keep enriching your arguments with more specific examples for even deeper analysis.
Cohesion Enhancement
While your coherence and cohesion are commendable, incorporating a broader range of cohesive devices beyond basic conjunctions could elevate the flow of your essay.
Task Response Enhancement
Your task response is solid, with a well-balanced argument covering both sides of the question. For higher scores, consider exploring the implications of your arguments in greater depth or presenting a more nuanced viewpoint.
Structure
Logical structure and clear progression of ideas.
Introduction/Conclusion
Presence of an introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the essay's main points.
Use of Examples
Effective use of examples to support main points.
Clarity of Ideas
Clear, comprehensive ideas are well-articulated throughout the essay.
Your opinion
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