In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

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Society always expects people to give their best

while

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usually a few of them can sustain.

However

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, it has been observed that some seem to exert more effort than the average person.

This

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essay will discuss why some people work harder than others and whether it is always a positive thing. One of the motivations behind

this

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is a drive to achieve something for themselves or their family. The students and workers know that it is necessary to sacrifice their personal leisure time to apply earnest effort so that they can succeed in school and the workplace, and eventually acquire recognition and financial rewards

as well as

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satisfy their family’s expectations. Another reason is personal love for what they are doing.

For example

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, some scholarly students just simply love to go to extra mile to study and understand more in the academic area they are interested in.

Also

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, some employees have a deep passion for improving their skills and creating value for their company and customers. Despite that most individuals applaud

such

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constant commitment, I still believe hard work is not always a good thing for individuals, especially when they can’t balance their life and work. A single-minded focus on one’s task may temporarily be effective, but

finally

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, they will become inefficient

due to

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fatigue body and mind,

thus

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leading to poor results. In the long run,

this

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may result in some health problems

such

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as back pain and short-sightedness. Everyone needs to recharge their body and mind to continue making progress in their area. In conclusion, it is great that some people invest dedicated effort in their studies and jobs for their desires or personal interests.

Nonetheless

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, they need to slow down sometimes so that their performance and health do not suffer.

georgiana0818Fri Apr 19 2024

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Structural Improvement

You've done a great job structuring your essay logically, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To enhance it further, try using a wider variety of linking phrases to connect ideas more seamlessly.

Ideas and Examples

Your essay brings forth clear and comprehensive ideas with relevant examples, which greatly supports your discussion. Keep enriching your arguments with more specific examples for even deeper analysis.

Cohesion Enhancement

While your coherence and cohesion are commendable, incorporating a broader range of cohesive devices beyond basic conjunctions could elevate the flow of your essay.

Task Response Enhancement

Your task response is solid, with a well-balanced argument covering both sides of the question. For higher scores, consider exploring the implications of your arguments in greater depth or presenting a more nuanced viewpoint.

Structure

Logical structure and clear progression of ideas.

Introduction/Conclusion

Presence of an introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the essay's main points.

Use of Examples

Effective use of examples to support main points.

Clarity of Ideas

Clear, comprehensive ideas are well-articulated throughout the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Genetic predisposition
Work ethic
Upbringing
Cultural values
Ambitions
Motivated
Fear of failure
Competitive nature
Overworking
Burnout
Stress-related health issues
Productivity
Quality of life
Healthy balance
Long-term productivity

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In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

Your opinion

Many people believe that formal 'pen and paper' examinations are not the best method of assessing educational achievement. What is your view of examinations? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that economic progress is the only way to end poverty while others believe that it is causing damage to the environment and so should be stopped. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many people think that the behavior of professional sportsmen off the field is not important as long as they are good players. To what extent do you agree or disagree with it?

In many countries, the age of the criminal is getting lower. Give the reasons for and solutions to the problem. Support your position with relevant examples.