Some countries spend a lot of money preparing competitors in major sports competition such as Olympic Games and football World Cup etc. It is better to spend money encouraging children take up sports at a young age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
#countries #money #competitors #sports #competition #olympic #games #football #world #cup #children #age
In
this
modern era, sports
become popular among people
and people
spend a lot of their money on this
. So, encouraging children
to get into sports
at an early age
would be beneficial for their country
. I will discuss these points in upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
with, there are numerous companies who sponsor the competitions of sports
and while
sponsoring they advertise their brand as well. For example
, Michael Jordan endorsed the Jordan shoe which is the most expensive shoe in the whole world and people
still buy it and remain the most sought shoe up to this
day. They have a plethora of viewers and fans of sports
star
who support them in any way. Fix the agreement mistake
stars
Due to
this
reason, people
like to purchase the item what
their Correct word choice
that
sports
star endorsing. Thus
, it helps to economic growth of the country
as well.
Furthermore
, some children
have no talent for studying rather than playing. For
this
reason, putting juveniles in sports
at a younger age
would be beneficial for their country
. For instance
, Sania Mirza is a tennis sportswoman, she has been playing since their childhood and made herself strong and competitive so that no one can lose her and now she has become the best sportswoman in the world. As a result
, sports
stars become a
very good Correct article usage
apply
challenger
which Fix the agreement mistake
challengers
is
hard to compete with them. Verb problem
makes it
Therefore
, spending money on children
at a young age
would be beneficial for the country
.
In conclusion, this
is advantageous for the country
and companies as well if they spend on these sports
events and stars. I agree that country
should spend money on Correct article usage
the country
children
at their
early Change the word
an
age
and become
them a very good competitor Verb problem
make
in
which help the Change preposition
apply
country
for
Change preposition
with
the
Correct article usage
apply
economy
growth.Replace the word
economic
Submitted by AP on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on enhancing your sentence structure and vocabulary to make your points clearer and more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
For a higher score, ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next with clear transitions.
Task Achievement
Continue to use specific examples as they strengthen your argument, but also aim to directly link these examples back to the question prompt more clearly.
Introduction and Conclusion Presence
Your introduction and conclusion effectively bookend your argument, presenting a clear stance on the issue.
Logical Structure
You have provided a logical structure to your essay, which helps in making your argument coherent.
Relevant Specific Examples
The use of specific examples, such as Michael Jordan and Sania Mirza, effectively illustrate your points.