You are having a graduation party next Saturday night. You have invited 50 people to celebrate at an outdoor barbecue evening, which may continue into late into the night. Write a letter to your elderly neighbour. In your letter:  explain what will be happening  offer your apologies in advance  invite her to join the celebration

#graduation #party #saturday #night #people #barbecue #neighbour #offer #apologies #advance #celebration

Dear Lan, Hope you are doing well. I am so happy because I

finally

graduated after 4 years study hard. Next Saturday night, I and my class will celebrate a graduation party, and it is an outdoor barbecue celebration. I am planning to invite 50 people.

However

, after having dinner, we will

also

have some outdoor activities that may make some noises, and it may affect your sleep. With things that may affect your sleep and mood. I am writing

this

letter to apologise for that. I

talked with

Verb problem

told

show examples

my friends that our celebration would finish around 10 pm, and they agreed to that arrangement.

Moreover

, we will try our best to keep out sounds not too noises.

Furthermore

Change the pronoun

show examples

and my class hope that you can come and enjoy the barbecue party with us when they know you are my neighbour. I apologise for the noise sound

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and hope you can come to join the celebration with us. Yours sincerely, Hana

Submitted by hana44happy on Sat Apr 20 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Make sure to clearly separate your paragraphs to enhance readability.

Grammar and Accuracy

Consider revising for small grammatical errors and ensuring the use of the correct tenses and prepositions to improve the flow of the letter.

Task Achievement

Adding a little more detail about the time and perhaps a contact number for any concerns may enhance the invitation and show consideration.

Task Achievement

You've done well in apologizing in advance and inviting your neighbour, which shows good awareness of the task requirements.

Writing Tone

The friendly and respectful tone throughout the letter is suitable for writing to an elderly neighbour and inviting them to your celebration.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

162 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people says trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while other says housing facilities should be built instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Many things at home which were done by hand are now done by machines. What problems are caused by this phenomenon? What can be done to tackle those problems?

Nowadays, many people prefer eating out rather than cooking at home. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Doctors, Nurses, and teachers make a great contribution to society and should be payed more than entertainment and sport celebrities. Do you agree or disagree ?