Some believe that sport competitions are a source of emotional stress for young people. Therefore, youth should be banned from participating in sport competitions. Do you agree or disagree with this statement.

It is an undeniable truth that
sport
is emotionally connected to the
adults
.
However
, certain mankind
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
that Young People should not participate in
Sport competition
Fix the agreement mistake
sports competitions
show examples
because it creates
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
level of
stress
in the
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
of
adults
. I partially agree with
this
Statement and uphold my point of view in
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
Paragraphs. The first and foremost reason which aids me to support my thinking
that is
, for numerous
adults
, taking
Part
Fix capitalization
part
show examples
in any
sport
is
mind
Correct article usage
a mind
show examples
refreshing task. In Simple words,
adults
like to Play
sports
because it helps to distract them from tension
as well as
stress
too for
certain
Change the article
a certain
show examples
amount of time.
For instance
,
myraid
Correct your spelling
myriad
young
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
Play
sports
after having a burdensome day in their life.
Secondly
,
Sports
such
as cricket need
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good teamwork between 12 Players,
hence
it will aid
adults
to
enhance
Wrong verb form
enhancing
show examples
their skills.Another Point which
advocates
Verb problem
encourages
show examples
me to uphold my view
that is
,
sports
Proffer
great
Correct article usage
a great
show examples
level of body fitness.
An excellent
Correct article usage
Excellent
show examples
Physicall
Correct your spelling
Physical
fitness aids young
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
not only in
study
Correct pronoun usage
their study
show examples
life but
also
in
routine
Correct pronoun usage
their routine
show examples
life too.
Last
Add a comma
Last,
show examples
but not least
that is
, Playing
Sport
Fix the agreement mistake
Sports
show examples
makes
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
mindset creative which
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
several advantages too. on the flip
side
Add a comma
side,
show examples
sports
have certain drawbacks which are following. In some Cases,
Sport
creats
Correct your spelling
creates
Stress
in the
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
of
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
.
Stress
can be created in terms of
final
Add an article
the final
show examples
match.
For instance
. an
aduit
Correct your spelling
adult
audit
is Participating in
final
Correct article usage
a final
show examples
match,
during
Correct word choice
and during
show examples
the match, the
stress
level is
also
high but if he
loss
Replace the word
loses
show examples
the match, It will
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
have
Add the particle
have to
show examples
affect the
mind
of
adult
Add an article
an adult
the adult
show examples
All in all, young people should participate in
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
competition because it imparts several benefits.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
it should be avoided in the case of having
exam
Add an article
an exam
show examples
or some vital task.
Submitted by akshayashvi07 on

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structure
Work on structuring your essay with a clearer introduction and a conclusion that summarizes your points effectively. While you introduced the topic, try to delineate your stance more distinctly in the introduction and reiterate your position in the conclusion for greater clarity.
content
Enhance the clarity and specificity of your examples. While you mentioned a general scenario of adults experiencing stress in sports, incorporating more concrete and specific examples can better illustrate and support your viewpoints.
accuracy
Pay attention to the consistency in your terminology - the prompt is about young people, yet your essay often refers to 'adults,' which could confuse the reader or detract from the relevance to the given topic.
engagement
Your essay shows a good level of engagement with the topic, expressing a nuanced view by acknowledging both the benefits and drawbacks of youth participation in sports.
content
You've outlined some good points on how sports can be beneficial, such as stress relief, teamwork, physical fitness, and creativity.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Emotional stress
  • Young athletes
  • High-pressure environments
  • Resilience
  • Discipline
  • Teamwork
  • Supportive coaching
  • Adequate rest
  • Personal growth
  • Structured competition
  • Goals
  • Manage failure
  • Celebrate achievements
  • Personal development
  • Mental health
What to do next:
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