Some countries spend a lot of money preparing competitors in major sports competition such as Olympic Games and football World Cup etc. It is better to spend money encouraging children take up sports at a young age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #money #competitors #sports #competition #olympic #games #football #world #cup #children #age

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International sports events for some countries are important and need full financial support from the

government

Use synonyms

. Is it worth doing that? Some people argue that spending

money

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on preparing younger for international sport even just wasting

money

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However

Linking Words

, I believe that the

government

Use synonyms

should spend

money

Use synonyms

on preparing athletes for international events starting when they are children, which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will lead to more positive impacts for the future. The main reason the

government

Use synonyms

should give more attention to the youngers is because they bring the country name. It is about the nation's pride. If these young children are well encouraged and they win the international competition, it brings the nation name.

For example

Linking Words

, the Indonesian

government

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prepares young

badminton

Use synonyms

athletes, supports them with good training

also

Linking Words

finances, and

then

Linking Words

they compete in an international competition, like the

badminton

Use synonyms

World Cup, and win it.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it brings pride to the country. Looking to another reason for the

government

Use synonyms

's support financially in sports preparations for the younger is because it brings economic effects for the country itself.

For example

Linking Words

, if Indonesia wins the international

badminton

Use synonyms

competition, the other countries will send their younger

badminton

Use synonyms

athletes to Indonesia to learn

badminton

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. It moves the Indonesian economy since they will live and spend

money

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in Indonesia.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, it

also

Linking Words

introduces Indonesian culture to other countries. In conclusion, supporting the younger generation in sports brings more benefits, not only in terms of pride but

also

Linking Words

in the economy.

Hence

Linking Words

, I strongly agree that the

government

Use synonyms

should give more attention to the young in the future,

Correct word choice

as it

show examples

will bring more positive things for generations.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Sat Apr 20 2024

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Task Achievement

Your essay shows a good understanding of the task and provides relevant examples to support your points. To further enhance your essay, consider varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and interestingly.

Coherence & Cohesion

You've structured your essay well, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, which is great for coherence. To improve cohesion, work on using a variety of linking words and phrases that seamlessly connect ideas within and between paragraphs.

Task Achievement

You effectively addressed the prompt, offering a clear position and substantiating it with relevant examples and arguments.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear, effectively framing your essay and summarizing your main points, which contributes to the overall coherence of your response.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

grassroots level
uncover hidden talents
sustainable sporting culture
healthcare costs
teamwork
discipline
elite sports
fosters
unhealthy competition
engagement
initiatives
cost-effective
broader impact

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Some countries spend a lot of money preparing competitors in major sports competition such as Olympic Games and football World Cup etc. It is better to spend money encouraging children take up sports at a young age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Children are less educated nowadays because TV is not as good as books?

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employee rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Recent research has shown that business meetings and trainings are increasingly taking place online . What are the advantages and disadvantages of this

some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.