You are having a graduation party next Saturday night. You have invited 50 people to celebrate at an outdoor barbecue evening, which may continue into late into the night. Write a letter to your elderly neighbour. In your letter:  explain what will be happening  offer your apologies in advance  invite her to join the celebration

#graduation #party #saturday #night #people #barbecue #neighbour #offer #apologies #advance #celebration

Mrs. Brown

Firstly

, how are you? I hope you and your family are

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

well. If you wonder about me, I am great. Because

Remove the comma

apply

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finally

graduated from university. And now, I am a real pilot. So

that is

why, I have a graduation party 21st Saturday night. It would

be start

Change the verb form

start

show examples

nearly

Change preposition

at nearly

show examples

8pm.

And

Correct word choice

Also

show examples

also

, it will take 3 or 4 hours. Maybe more... I have invited nearly 50 people who are my school friends and family members. In

additional

Replace the word

addition

show examples

, they would be a little noisy. I am sorry in advance.

Secondly

, that would be

barbecue

Correct article usage

a barbecue

show examples

party

also

. So, I would be very happy, If you and your family

will

Wrong verb form

would

show examples

join

Change preposition

apply

show examples

us. Thank you for your kindness. Yours sincerely, Ecem

Submitted by ecem.tekben on Sat Apr 20 2024

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opening

Begin with a more direct introduction to your topic and intention for writing to provide clarity from the start.

structure

Use paragraphs to separate different points. A paragraph for greeting, explaining the event, your apology, and the invitation would improve structure.

grammar

Check for grammatical errors and use a variety of sentence structures to enhance readability.

details

Clarify the details of the event more specifically, such as confirming the date ('21st Saturday' might be unclear) and the event duration.

tone

Consider phrasing your apology and invitation more formally to maintain a respectful and polite tone.

content

You successfully explained the event and offered an apology in advance.

gesture

Your attempt to invite your neighbor adds a friendly and inclusive touch to your letter.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

122 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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