Education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In
this
age of change, there has been much dispute over whether educational resources that
should be spent on Correct pronoun usage
apply
educate
young generations or adults who cannot read or write. Change the form of the verb
educating
While
it has been accepted that education
of young individuals Correct article usage
the education
play
a vital role in society, I would argue that we still need to address the issue of adults Change the verb form
plays
cannot
read or Verb problem
not
write
.
Admittedly, some people may hold the opinion that it is unnecessary for local governments to educate Wrong verb form
written
the
Correct article usage
apply
adult
who cannot write or read. Fix the agreement mistake
adults
This
may be reasonable to some extent,
because it doesn’t impact them and they can still survive in their society. To take Taiwan as an example, there are numerous farmers who lack Remove the comma
apply
this
skill but still can work and handle life matters.
However
, I do not agree with the above viewpoint and my first reason is that it can promote national economic development. It is commonly recognized that they contribute significantly to economic productivity, more than young
Add an article
the young
generation
. If old generations they
can understand how to read and write, Correct pronoun usage
apply
adult
can enhance their working ability and increase their income. Add an article
an adult
the adult
As a result
, it can potentially increase economic productivity and them
improve Correct pronoun usage
apply
country’s
Correct article usage
the country’s
economy
development.
Another compelling reason is that it helps them better Replace the word
economic
understanding
the next Change the form of the verb
understand
generation
. Generally speaking, parents should know what their children learn. When they can know what their children are be
taught in school, which Change the form of the verb
being
help
them better understand the next Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
generation
and discuss with them. For example
, when their children study social sciences, they can discuss their views on current society and share their own past social experiences with them.
To summarize, although
views on this
issue vary from person to person, I tend to believe that adult education should be well pay
attention Change the verb form
be well paying
be well paid
because
it can impact economic development and Change preposition
to because
next
Correct article usage
the next
generation
.Submitted by tiger801211574 on
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task achievement
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and is well-developed with specific examples. Although you provided some examples, incorporating more detailed or varied examples could enhance your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Using a wider range of linking words and phrases could improve the flow of your essay. While you have demonstrated good structure, making transitions smoother would elevate the cohesion of your essay.
language accuracy
Review your essay for minor grammatical errors and ensure verb tense consistency and proper subject-verb agreement to refine your writing further.
introduction and conclusion
You've successfully introduced and concluded your essay, framing your argument clearly and summarizing your position effectively.
logical structure
You have presented a logical structure in your essay by clearly separating your paragraphs according to different arguments, which aids in the reader's understanding.
use of examples
Your use of real-life examples, like the situation of farmers in Taiwan, provides concrete support to your argument, illustrating the real-world implications of your position.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.