Salary should be the most important consideration when choosing a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In modern times, some people choose their future jobs

due to

Linking Words

the income that

this

Linking Words

job brings. I agree with

this

Linking Words

statement because nowadays money can cause feelings of delight to anyone

such

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material

Change preposition

as material

show examples

possessions or expensive trips,

while

Linking Words

also

Linking Words

leads

toloneliness

Correct your spelling

to loneliness

loneliness

and depression. On the one hand, it is significant to have a high salary,as

this

Linking Words

person can purchase everything that he wants and it will make him delighted.Prices are now growing, and

for

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason, individuals looking for

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

high-income jobs.

For instance

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according to

Linking Words

the New York Times in

2020

Add a comma

2020,

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employee 45% who had a low income faced depression,

while

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the other 45% had a great appointment and did not have any kind of problems, as they spent their money as they wanted to, they bought to themselves bags which costed earth like Chanel,Dior and Fendi and by travelling around the world they felt satisfied.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, it

also

Linking Words

has a negative impact on loneliness and

struggling

Replace the word

struggle

show examples

. When a person wants a big house or a great car he should

performance

Replace the word

perform

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without a break.

Hence

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

person would not have free time, cause is working from day to night.

Thought when

Verb problem

When

show examples

an individual would not spend time at home with family, his close people would leave him alone, as they want to him as soon as possible.

For example

Linking Words

, in the film called Wolf, a man named Steve is at endeavour most

Correct your spelling

show examples

his time 24 to 7, and his wife who is always at their house waiting for him to make dinner every day is tired because they have a little

girls

Correct the article-noun agreement

girl

show examples

who

also

Linking Words

wants

Change the verb form

want

show examples

attention. She thinks that he should pay attention not only to his performance but

also

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to his family.

As a result

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, they left him alone.

Due to

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this

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, he got depressed as no one was waiting to see him. In conclusion, it is important to have a well-paid assignment as it can make you happy, but it can

also

Linking Words

have a negative impact

such

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as loneliness and depression.

aizered097Sat Apr 20 2024

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Sentence Structure

Work on varying your sentence structure to enhance readability and coherence. Try to include more complex structures.

Organization

Make sure your essay is well-organized, with clear paragraphs for each main point. Use transitional phrases to help the reader follow your argument.

Detail and Development

Develop your ideas further with more detailed examples and explanations. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.

Spelling and Grammar

Be cautious of spelling and grammar errors. Proofreading your work can help to minimize these and improve the overall quality of your writing.

Conclusion

Ensure your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your position on the topic. This will leave a strong final impression on the reader.

Introduction

You've done a good job introducing the topic and stating your position in the introduction.

Use of Examples

You effectively use examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.

Balanced Argument

You have a good balance of discussing both sides of the argument, which shows a thorough consideration of the topic.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

340 words

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Salary should be the most important consideration when choosing a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Despite better access to education, many adults today still cannot read or write. In what ways are they disadvantaged? What can governments do to help them?

In some countries, some people are renting accomodation, while other are buying their own homes. Does renting accomodation have more advantages or more disadvantages than buying a place?

Governments should spend more money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science as a subject. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Many people say that globalisation and the growing number of multinational companies have a negative effect on the environmental. To what extent do you agree or disagree?