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Band 5

In the past, knowledge was stored in books. Today, people stored knowledge on the internet. To what extent the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?

#books #people #internet #trend
Nowadays,
due to
 the advancement of technology,
people
 store their
information
 and
knowledge
 on the
Internet
,
while
 in the past traditional methods were used.
This
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In this
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 essay both sides of the argument will
discuss
Wrong verb form
be discussed
show examples
 and the support will be explained. On the one hand, the main merit of storing
information
 on the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 is availability. In fact, the
internet
 not only provides easy access to a vast amount of
information
 from anywhere
the
Change preposition
in the
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 world but
also
 allows
people
 to find the answer
their
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to their
show examples
question
Fix the agreement mistake
questions
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 swiftly.
According to
 the latest estimates more and more
people
, especially young
people
 would rather search their questions on the net and avoid seeking advice from other
people
.
Furthermore
, books can be expensive to purchase, especially academic and specialized text,
while
 online resources are more cost-effective than physical books, making
knowledge
 more accessible to a wider audience.
However
, it is important to recognize that there are disadvantages associated with collecting
information
 on the
internet
, the most significant of which is
a
Correct article usage
apply
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privacy concerns.If someone shares their personal
information
 on the
Internet
 regardless of the potential risks, they may be exposed to hacking or misuse. Another demerit of keeping
knowledge
 on the
internet
 is a lot of dependence on the
Internet
. Relying solely on the
internet
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to dependency on technology and a decrease in critical thinking skills. In conclusion,
although
 by saving
knowledge
 on the
internet
,
people
 easily access to wide range of resources, I am of the opinion that the drawback of
this
 circumstance has surpassed its positive effect with regard to the lack of security and dependency.
Submitted by hongminh317 on

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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs, including an introduction and conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea.
linking words
Use a variety of linking words to improve coherence between sentences and paragraphs. This will make your essay flow more smoothly.
evidence
Always back up your points with specific examples or evidence. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
balance viewpoint
It's important to address both sides of the argument thoroughly but also make your own opinion clear. This shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
content coverage
Your essay provided a good overview of the benefits and drawbacks of storing information on the internet.
conclusion
You made an attempt to conclude your essay by summarizing your opinion, which is good practice.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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