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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart shows the main methods of transportation for people traveling to a university for work or study in 2004 and 2009

The chart shows the main methods of transportation for people traveling to a university for work or study in 2004 and 2009
The pie charts illustrate five different ways of transporting that people
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 for
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to university in the UK in 2004 and 2009.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the popularity of public modes had an upward trend
although
Linking Words
, own vehicles showed a downward trend. In terms of Buses, it showed a considerable increase from 33% in 2004 to 46% in 2009
moreover
Linking Words
,
Cars
Correct article usage
the Cars
show examples
 sector contained over
half
Add an article
a half
the half
show examples
portion
Correct article usage
a portion
show examples
 of
Correct article usage
the traveling
show examples
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 for people in 2004
however
Linking Words
, it decreased tremendously to 28% in 2009.
According
Add the preposition
According to
show examples
 the statistics ,Bicycle fame climbed moderately from 9% in 2004 to 16% in 2009. Both
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of Train passengers and Walkers experienced
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
minimal growth between these years. In 2004 Trains and walkers
include
Wrong verb form
included
show examples
 3% and 4% of transporting respectively
then
Linking Words
 rose by 1% and 2% in 2009 sequentially.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • chart
  • methods of transportation
  • travelling
  • university
  • work
  • study
  • dominance
  • increase
  • public transportation
  • usage
  • decrease
  • walking
  • cycling
  • means of transportation
  • reasons
  • changes
  • patterns
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