Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively.
Financial
education
must be taught in schools as one of the important subjects
, so that the students
may manage their currency more effectively. I agree with this
statement because it is one of the more important subjects
and it helps the students
to prepare for adulthood and mature life.
First of all, Financial education
can be considered one of the most helpful subjects
to the students
. For example
, instead
of being taught irrelevant subjects
like physical education
and French where they spend their time learning how to play sports or taught a language they may not even speak, they could be spending that time learning how they could manage their finances better. Therefore
, I consider Financial education
a much more valuable subject to be taught in schools.
Secondly
, Financial education
can prepare students
for their future adulthood. For example
, in these classes
they could learn h
Add a comma
classes,
ow
to avoid scams, how to not be baited into deals where they would be at a disadvantage Correct your spelling
how
and
etc. Correct word choice
apply
Moreover
, Financial education
classes may provide much needed
help to Add a hyphen
much-needed
the
inexperienced Correct article usage
apply
students
. Therefore
, I think that Financial education
would be a great opportunity for students
to prepare for the future
In conclusion, I consider the addition of the
Financial Correct article usage
apply
education
classes to be important to students
and may prepare them for their future life.Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
To improve your score, ensure that your essay provides a more detailed exploration of the topic. This could include adding more specific examples and reasons to support your arguments. When discussing the importance of financial education, consider including statistics, studies, or personal anecdotes.
Task Achievement
Work on developing your points more thoroughly. Each paragraph should ideally contain a clear main idea, followed by explanations, examples, or evidence to elaborate on that idea.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to use a variety of sentence structures and connectors to link ideas within and between paragraphs, which will enhance the cohesion and flow of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
A stronger conclusion that reiterates your main points and provides a succinct summary or final thought would enhance the overall effectiveness and completeness of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction clearly sets the stage for the subject at hand, effectively guiding the reader into the discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a logical structure to your essay, with an introduction, development of points, and a conclusion, which helps the reader follow your argument.
Task Achievement
Your clear stance on the importance of financial education in schools provides a solid foundation for your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!