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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the percentage of people born in and outside of Australia living in cities , and towns, and Ural areas in 1950 and 2010. Summurise the information by selecting and reporting the main features of the graph and make comparison where relevant.

The chart below shows the percentage of people born in and outside of Australia living in cities , and towns, and Ural areas in 1950 and 2010. Summurise the information by selecting and reporting the main features of the graph and make comparison where relevant.
#percentage #people #australia #cities #towns #areas #summurise #information #features #comparison
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The bar graphs give information about the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of born people throughout
Australia
Use synonyms
 from 1950 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the percentage of being born in the
cities
Use synonyms
 of
Australia
Use synonyms
 showed
similar
Add an article
a similar
show examples
 rising trend in both given
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 2010 witnessed the smallest. In 1950, More babies were born in all selected places, namely,
cities
Use synonyms
, towns and rural places of
Australia
Use synonyms
 than
2010
Change preposition
in 2010
show examples
. That of
cities
Use synonyms
 inside of
Australia
Use synonyms
 was about at 50% in 1950 and other figures: towns and the countries had 20% and nearly
30%respectively
Correct your spelling
30 %respectively
,
while
Linking Words
 that year more people had babies outside of that. the year 2010 was
dominant
Add an article
a dominant
show examples
 year for the trend of being born in
cities
Use synonyms
 of the
country's
Change noun form
country
show examples
 inside and outside,
however
Linking Words
, there was a decrease in
born
Add an article
the born
a born
show examples
 schedule in towns and
suburbans
Correct your spelling
suburbs
.
Submitted by hamzayevasamina on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, cities with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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