Some people believe that we have too many choices. to what extent so you agree or disagree?
It is argued among individuals that these days everyone has a
lot
of choices that they can make. I wholeheartedly agree with this
notion because we live in the 21st century and a lot
of nations have democracy
. Also
, a lot
of jobs
and courses were created over the past few years, that each person can choose whatever they like.
To begin
with, democracy
is very common in some countries
, especially developed countries
. With this
thing all people
can live the way they like, moreover
, they can be whatever they want to be, choose every religion they like, and also
, they can have their own preferred style. However
, I need to mention that, still some nations like developing countries
, do not have democracy
and that it means, a lot
of options are not available for their people
, although
, the number of these countries
is very low.
For instance
, as we know, in modern days, there are different types of sexuality for all humans, and each person can see which one of them is close to their personality and then
they can choose that sexuality for themselves.
Another thing is that,
there are massive numbers of distinctive Remove the comma
apply
jobs
and courses for all people
of any age, in the past, there were not so many fields for individuals to consider. Furthermore
, still new occupations are being introduced to everyone, this
thing makes it so easy for people
to find their passions and interests without any difficulties.
For example
, due to
the advancement of technology , there are so many jobs
and so many studies for all people
, like how to create a machine , how to come up with a solution for some techs that are malfunctioning, and a lot
of things related to that. Also
, after the internet was introduced to humans we saw a lot
of jobs
related to that, like bloggers, and these kinds of things.
To sum up
, as I mentioned in this
essay, I agree that, nowadays we have a lot
of options to select from due to
several things like having democracy
, and so many choices for choosing an occupation.Submitted by abbasisarina340 on
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Depth of Argument
Try to develop a more nuanced argument with diverse examples that illustrate the complexity of having many choices today—not just focusing on democracy and jobs but perhaps also on consumer goods, lifestyle choices, etc.
Structure & Linking
Consider refining your essay structure by having more clear paragraph divisions and using a variety of linking words to enhance flow between ideas.
Precision in Argument
Be cautious with general statements. While developed countries typically exhibit greater freedoms, including the choice of careers and lifestyles, it's important to recognize the nuances within developing countries rather than oversimplifying the situation.
Thesis Statement
You provided a clear thesis statement, aligning your essay effectively with the question asked, showcasing your agreement with the prompt.
Use of Examples
Your examples, particularly about the advancements in technology and the internet leading to new job opportunities, are relevant and support your main points well.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, reinforcing your stance on the issue.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.