The only way to improve road safety is to impose severe punishment for driving offences. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, there is a growing consensus on the impact of road traffic
accidents
on people's lives. This
worrying trend has to be thoroughly analysed. It is argued whether drastic punishment should be implemented to decrease the number of adverse incidents that could happen. The forthcoming essay will explain why I disagree with this
notion.
Many reasons explain why I disagree that strong punishments
are the only way to tackle this
issue. Although
imposing punishments
can be beneficial to some extent, severe punishments
can do more harm than good. Especially if what is meant by invasive punishment, brutal measures that include execution, long years spent in jail, amputation, or even ending a life. If punishing individuals is to ensure more safety in society, more moral values should be embedded in legislation.
Many other ways can be suggested to decrease accidents
and offences made by individuals. Firstly
, driving lessons should be structured efficiently; if participants undertaking driving lessons need more training, extra hours of driving lessons must be taken. Secondly
, awareness campaigns by the government could have a significant impact on people’s mindsets regarding rules that lead to decreasing causes of traffic accidents
. For instance
, campaigns about the dangers of alcohol intake while
driving.
In conclusion, there are significant advantages that outweigh the disadvantages when considering less severe punishments
for offences made on roads. It is recommended that positive ways to reduce accidents
be considered and simultaneously add benefits to the whole society.Submitted by alamer_ma on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt fairly well, presenting a clear opinion and supporting arguments. However, additional points or elaborations could be included to present a more comprehensive response.
task achievement
Some of the essay's main points need further elaboration or specific examples to fully support the arguments made. Including more relevant specific examples can strengthen the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure transitions between paragraphs are smooth and logical to maintain coherence. While the essay is well-structured, further improving fluidity between ideas can enhance overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize the main argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
The main points of the argument are clear and logically structured.
task achievement
The opinion is clearly stated, and the objectives of the essay are addressed throughout.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite