These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

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this

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digital era, young

children

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have easy access to various internet platforms and television.

Although

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this

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digital growth is important for so many reasons, it has drawbacks which cannot be ignored

such

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as telecasting of news about wars, racism and crimes, which affects kid's

behaviour

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in a negative manner. In my opinion, I strongly agree with

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statement because of the bad influence of television created for kids.

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will be explained in more detail by two main points which are constant exposure to violence can lead to aggressive

behaviour

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and to development of

fear

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or anxiety. First and foremost, exposure to violence on

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can desensitize

children

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, making them more likely to exhibit aggressive or harmful

behaviour

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as they may start to see

such

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actions as normal or acceptable.

For instance

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, boys watching a movie about domestic violence where a man mistreats his wife verbally,

abuses

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and abuses

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and slaps her,

then

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these boys may think

that is

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how a man is supposed to treat a woman. Sadly,

this

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can lead to disturbed homes and society.

Therefore

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this

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makes it clear that showing

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can have a harmful effect on

children

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Furthermore

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, constant subjection to violent scenes on

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might lead

children

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to develop

fear

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or anxiety. To illustrate,

this

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may cause them to believe that the world is more dangerous than it really is.

This

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fear

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makes an individual feel less confident and scared to make new friends, to go out alone and in social gatherings as well, they won't be very expressive and keep their thoughts to themselves.

additionally

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this

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constant

fear

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affects the mental health of a person, which can be an invitation to many other health concerns.

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, it becomes apparent that the content of disturbing

behaviour

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has an impact on youngsters. To summarize, watching violent scenes on

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may lead

children

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to intimate that

behaviour

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and it may even affect their mental stability.

As a result

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, It is supported that the disturbing content on television has an adverse effect on

children

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's doings. After a thorough analysis of

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subject, it is recommended that parents and guardians should be proactive in mitigating

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impact by setting rules about what kind of content their

children

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can watch and teaching the difference between reality and fiction world.

taliyarifatThu Dec 05 2024

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language

Consider providing more varied vocabulary to further enhance the richness of your essay. This can engage the reader more deeply.

task response

Ensure that all points consistently support your thesis. This strengthens the overall argument and clarity.

coherence and cohesion

The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, aiding the reader's understanding.

task response

You have successfully included specific examples that reinforce your main points.

coherence and cohesion

Each paragraph follows a logical order, which ensures the argument progresses smoothly.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

379 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

desensitize
mimicking
aggressive
idolize
fear or anxiety
social interactions
mental health
proactive
supervision
content

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Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Enhance future lifestyle is this a negative or positive development?

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones in communication has negative effects on young people’s reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?