IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage students . Do you think its advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

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It is true that every
teenagers
Change to a singular noun
teenager
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 will gain benefits when doing a global student exchange.
This
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 essay will discuss the
disadvantage
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disadvantages
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 of being an
exchanged
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exchange
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 student in other
countriees
Correct your spelling
countries
, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 eclipsed by the
advantage
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advantages
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 of
this
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 view
involved
Verb problem
apply
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. Opponents disagree with
this
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 view for several reasons. Chief among these is that
students
Use synonyms
 face culture shock when they study in a new country.
For
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this
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 reason, they are not
familarize
Correct your spelling
familiar
 with the communication and lifestyle of the nation yet.
For example
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, when Vietnamese
students
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 go to Korea, they will have to get more time to develop themselves into how Korean learners or citizens communicate with each other when it comes to body language or
gesture
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gestures
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. Another possible reason is they might be homesick.
In other words
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, since
this
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 is the initial time they come to Australia or USA
for studying
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to study
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 abroad, they possibly miss their family a lot.
As a result
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 of
this
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, it requires them to get more friends so that they will not be depressed.
However
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, I firmly advocate that there are several advantages for many young learners to study
exchangely
Correct your spelling
exchange
exchanges
 in other nations.
Firstly
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, these countries cause them to be more independent.
This
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mean
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means
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 that they can live by themselves without relying on their parents.
An evidence
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Evidence
A piece of evidence
A shred of evidence
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 can be seen in Vietnamese
students
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 that when they live in an apartment alone, they can do house chores by themselves like cleaning
a
Correct article usage
the
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 house, doing laundry and washing dishes.
Secondly
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, travelling internationally for studying
exchanged
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exchange
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purpose
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purposes
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 can contribute to improving socializing.
The part
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Part
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 of
this
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 reason is they may meet new schoolmates or classmates from different countries with
diversed
Correct your spelling
diverse
 backgrounds. Sydney in Australia,
for example
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, socializing with other internationals will aid young generations to be more and more confident in communication. In conclusion,
while
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 opponents might be against
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
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 fact, I still strongly believe that teenage
students
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 will be more advantageous because of an exchange program, regarding to social and life
skill
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skills
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 aspect.

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Task Achievement
Your essay clearly presents your point of view and outlines both the advantages and disadvantages of international student exchanges. To further strengthen your argument, consider providing more specific examples and evidence to support your claims.
Coherence/Cohesion
You've done well in structuring your essay into paragraphs, each focusing on separate ideas. To improve coherence, try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
When discussing the disadvantages, consider adding a counter-argument or more specific examples to provide a balanced view and enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.
Coherence/Cohesion
You provided clear introduction and conclusion paragraphs that effectively framed your essay's argument.
Coherence/Cohesion
Your essay benefits from supported main points with examples, particularly in discussing the advantages of student exchange programs.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broadens perspectives
  • Promotes diversity
  • Fosters independence
  • Enhances employability
  • Cultural shock
  • Adaptability
  • Global awareness
  • Educational disparities
  • Socio-economic groups
  • Homesickness
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