Teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage students . Do you think its advantages outweigh its disadvantages?
It is true that every
teenagers
will gain benefits when doing a global student exchange. Change to a singular noun
teenager
This
essay will discuss the disadvantage
of being an Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
exchanged
student in other Replace the word
exchange
countriees
, which Correct your spelling
countries
is
eclipsed by the Correct subject-verb agreement
are
advantage
of Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
this
view involved
.
Opponents disagree with Verb problem
apply
this
view for several reasons. Chief among these is that students
face culture shock when they study in a new country. For
this
reason, they are not familarize
with the communication and lifestyle of the nation yet. Correct your spelling
familiar
For example
, when Vietnamese students
go to Korea, they will have to get more time to develop themselves into how Korean learners or citizens communicate with each other when it comes to body language or gesture
. Another possible reason is they might be homesick. Fix the agreement mistake
gestures
In other words
, since this
is the initial time they come to Australia or USA for studying
abroad, they possibly miss their family a lot. Change preposition
to study
As a result
of this
, it requires them to get more friends so that they will not be depressed.
However
, I firmly advocate that there are several advantages for many young learners to study exchangely
in other nations. Correct your spelling
exchange
exchanges
Firstly
, these countries cause them to be more independent. This
mean
that they can live by themselves without relying on their parents. Change the verb form
means
An evidence
can be seen in Vietnamese Remove the article
Evidence
A piece of evidence
A shred of evidence
students
that when they live in an apartment alone, they can do house chores by themselves like cleaning a
house, doing laundry and washing dishes. Correct article usage
the
Secondly
, travelling internationally for studying exchanged
Replace the word
exchange
purpose
can contribute to improving socializing. Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
The part
of Correct article usage
Part
this
reason is they may meet new schoolmates or classmates from different countries with diversed
backgrounds. Sydney in Australia, Correct your spelling
diverse
for example
, socializing with other internationals will aid young generations to be more and more confident in communication.
In conclusion, while
opponents might be against with
Change preposition
apply
this
fact, I still strongly believe that teenage students
will be more advantageous because of an exchange program, regarding to social and life skill
aspect.Fix the agreement mistake
skills
Submitted by trannhatthienthien95 on
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Task Achievement
Your essay clearly presents your point of view and outlines both the advantages and disadvantages of international student exchanges. To further strengthen your argument, consider providing more specific examples and evidence to support your claims.
Coherence/Cohesion
You've done well in structuring your essay into paragraphs, each focusing on separate ideas. To improve coherence, try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
When discussing the disadvantages, consider adding a counter-argument or more specific examples to provide a balanced view and enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.
Coherence/Cohesion
You provided clear introduction and conclusion paragraphs that effectively framed your essay's argument.
Coherence/Cohesion
Your essay benefits from supported main points with examples, particularly in discussing the advantages of student exchange programs.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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