The spread of urban areas has led to deforestation and has caused many animal species to become endangered. Environmental groups are urging governments to protect these animals. What are the benefits of protecting animals? What can governments do to protect animals
It is widely known that
animals
Change the noun form
animal
species
are declining in numbers, due to
the fact that , expention
of urban areas. Lots of environmental activists and groups are demanding Correct your spelling
expansion
governments
to
put measures in place in order to help ease the situation.
The main benefit of protecting Fix the infinitive
apply
animals
is that its
Correct pronoun usage
it
assist
Correct subject-verb agreement
assists
of
maintaining a balanced ecosystem. Change preposition
in
Furthure more
, it will promote tourism and economic growth. Correct your spelling
Furthermore
For example
, kiwi birds are only
habitat here in New Zealand, Correct article usage
the only
tourists
around the world travel to see the precious Correct word choice
and tourists
species
, by keeping kiwi birds in its
own Correct pronoun usage
their
scanctrury
, indeed, would bring Correct your spelling
sanctuary
fininal benefitcs
to the Correct your spelling
financial benefits
local
. Fix the agreement mistake
locals
Loosing
the precious Replace the word
Losing
species
will bring the outcome to an unbalanced and chaotic ecosystem. In order to prevent that from happening, we need to protect animal habitats as valuable as our home, as a result
, we maintain the natural balance of all life on Earth.
There are actional plans for governments
to solve the obstacles. Firstly
, governments
should raise the
Correct article usage
apply
awarness
of animal protection; Not only Correct your spelling
awareness
environments
groups but Replace the word
environmental
also
students, kids, locals and all the community should have the
awareness of Correct article usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
dangered
Correct your spelling
endangered
species
. Such
as ,
teaching kids how and what to do in everyday life to help Remove the comma
apply
animals
. Secondly
, governemts
can build animal Correct your spelling
governments
sanctruries
in order to Correct your spelling
sanctuaries
resuce
them and help them to build suitable habitats. Correct your spelling
rescue
reduce
Last
but not least, putting budget
Add an article
a budget
the budget
in to
animal Join the words
into
rescuing
, Change the form of the verb
rescue
it
is Correct pronoun usage
apply
a
challenging and hard work which costs a lot of public Correct article usage
apply
resource
.
In conclusion, Change to a plural noun
resources
governemtns
and Correct your spelling
governments
government
individual
will all benefit from helping Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
animals
, for the bigger picuture
, Correct your spelling
picture
governments
should put more effort into saving them.Submitted by shirley772023 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
language accuracy
Ensure your essay is carefully proofread to correct spelling errors (e.g., "expention" should be "expansion", "scanctrury" should be "sanctuary"). This will make your arguments more persuasive and clearer to the reader.
development
Develop your arguments further with more specific examples. While you provided a good example with the kiwi bird in New Zealand, adding more examples or evidence could strengthen your essay.
style
Work on varying your sentence structures to add complexity and interest to your writing. You've made a good start, but greater variety in sentence construction can improve readability and engagement.
topic relevance
Your essay effectively addresses the topic and provides a clear stance on the importance of protecting animals.
structure
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly marked and help frame your argument effectively. Well done on structuring your essay to guide the reader through your points.
use of examples
You've used relevant examples, like the kiwi bird in New Zealand, which help to concretely illustrate your points. This is a good approach to making your arguments more compelling.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!