Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas whereas others think that change is inevitable and that banning tourism will have no benefits. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?

In
present
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the present
show examples
world, the
progresses
Correct subject-verb agreement
progress
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in transportation allows people to travel
with
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at
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lower
Correct article usage
a lower
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cost, and
thus
encourages tourism. As tourists
increases
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increase
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, local cultures
tends
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tend
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to fade away through time, and even disappear. Some
suggests
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suggest
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to ban
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banning
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tourists to preserve these cultural
treasure
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treasures
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,
while
some
supports
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support
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tourism since the change is unavoidable. In my point of view, I agree with prohibitions on visitors, and my opinion will be elaborated with examples below.
Firstly
, the main benefit
about
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of
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traveling
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travelling
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is widen
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is widening
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one’s view. Exploring the world helps with self-understanding and self-reflection, which contributes to a huge part of our
self identity
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self-identity
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. Visiting historical sites allow us to be humble
,
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apply
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while
getting
along with
nature can cultivate our empathy and compassion.
However
, there is nothing
comes
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that comes
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with
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at
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no
costs
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cost
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. In
this
case, cultural relics and
the
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apply
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nature
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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been impacted
on
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in
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the first place. Environmental issues result from the excessive amount of visitors.
For example
, emissions created by
aircrafts
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aircraft
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are growing drastically every year
,
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apply
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and
has
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have
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cause
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caused
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negative impacts on the greenhouse effect.
Also
, tourism
are
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is
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accelerating the damages in historical areas
such
as an over amount of CO2 can lead to irreparable
destructions
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destruction
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to art pieces and
architectures
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architecture
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.
To sum up
, though
traveling
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travelling
show examples
can expand our view, and inspires us to grow,
yet
Correct word choice
apply
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the costs behind are too expensive. It is suggested to enforce stronger laws and diminish the impacts to the lowest from now.
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task achievement
To strengthen your argument, consider adding more detailed examples and specific evidence to support your points. This will make your essay more persuasive and comprehensive.
coherence and cohesion
While your essay is structured well, adding clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph could improve clarity and guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
introduction and conclusion
The introduction sets a clear stage for discussion, appropriately framing the essay's direction.
introduction and conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, reinforcing the stance you've taken.
logical structure
You've effectively used paragraphs to organize your thoughts, which aids in the readability and flow of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • influx of tourists
  • dilute local customs
  • commercialization
  • loss of native languages
  • economic benefits
  • revenue source
  • responsible tourism
  • cultural sensitivity
  • regulated tourist limits
  • cultural heritage
  • globalization
  • case study
  • ‘High Value, Low Impact’ tourism
  • controlled tourism
  • middle-ground solution
  • infrastructure development
  • significant revenue source
  • employment generation
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