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Band 6.5

The graph below shows the consumption of 3 spread from 1981 to 2007.

The graph below shows the consumption of 3 spread from 1981 to 2007.
#consumption #spread
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The chart illustrates the data
of
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on
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 the consumption of 3 spreads from 1981 to 2007, a 26-year period.
Overall
Linking Words
, the use of butter and
margarine
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 declined and the data
of
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for
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margarine
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 fluctuated
in
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during
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 the whole period. Meanwhile, the low fat and reduced spreads have increased.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the use of butter
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased from 140
grams
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 to 160
grams
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 in the period of 1981 to 1986. After 5 years, it fell dramatically from 160
grams
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 to 100
grams
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. It is the same as the value of
margarine
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 in 1991.
Then
Linking Words
, it fell sharply to around 50
grams
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 in the year of 2007. For the consumption of
margarine
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, it increased insignificantly from 90 to 100
grams
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 during 1981 to 1991.
Next,
Linking Words
it remained unchanged in the years 1991 to 1996.
Then
Linking Words
, the usage of
margarine
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 has decreased significantly from 100 to 40
grams
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 in 1996 to 2007.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the consumption of low fat & reduced spreads has increased considerably from approximately 10 to 80
grams
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 from 1996 to 2001. It
shared
Wrong verb form
shares
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 the same figure
like
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as
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margarine
Use synonyms
 in 2001. Meanwhile, it has insignificant declined
during
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from
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year
Add an article
the year
a year
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of
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apply
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2001 to 2007.
Submitted by oscar77734644 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words margarine, grams with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
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