n many countries the amount of crime is increasing What do you think are the main causes of this? How can we deal with those causes?

#n #countries #amount #crime

There is an increasing trend of criminal activities in many nation-states which is attributed mainly to under-employment, illiteracy and weak judicial

system

.To prevent these acts, the governments should provide more jobs,a quality education and strengthen the police force. The phenomenon of increasing crime

rate

has multiple etiologies.First of all, the under-developed nations having less number of jobs for the youth is the main reason behind

this

menace.The masses not having any source of income resort to wrong-doings to feed their families.

For example

in Pakistan, the maximum street crimes are reported in Karachi which is the world's third most populous city but with less than fifty

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

employment

rate

Secondly

, the lack of education increases

nefaroius

Correct your spelling

nefarious

thoughts in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people's minds.In rural areas of Sindh,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

terror activities are on the surge

due to

paucity

Correct article usage

the paucity

show examples

of good-quality schools.

Thirdly

, the police department's inefficiency promotes the culture of robbery.

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Kenya

for instance

, where the security apparatus is known for its corruption has the world's highest offence

rate

Finally

, the fragile judicial

system

causing delays in punishments is to blame for the lawlessness.The

african

Change the capitalization

African

show examples

countries are a vivid example of injustice. The remedies for the increasing criminal trend need the contribution of the governments and the masses.The executive should provide more jobs for the people.In

Correct article usage

the UK

show examples

, where

percentage

Add an article

the percentage

a percentage

show examples

working

Add an article

the working

show examples

class is more has the lowest crime

rate

in the world.

In addition

, the parents and the administration should aim for high-quality education and better grooming of the younger lot.Well-educated communities are less prone to become

banana-republics

Correct your spelling

banana republics

show examples

Moreover

, if countries can

devlop

Correct your spelling

develop

corruption-free

Correct article usage

a corruption-free

show examples

police

system

, it will greatly reduce

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

terror incidents as many gangsters get released after bribing the

law enforcing

Add a hyphen

law-enforcing

show examples

individuals.

Furthermore

, the judicial reforms can be helpful in

this

regard.Swift accountability will discourage the folks from illegal activities. In conclusion,the menace of criminal tendencies in a society which is chiefly because of growing unemployment,lack of knowledge and corrupt practices of security agencies can be curbed by

Add an article

the

show examples

creation of job opportunities, better training of forces and improvement of legal structure and the educational

system

Submitted by alishah2294 on Sun Apr 21 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to use more variety in your sentence structures to enhance readability and flow. Including a mix of complex and compound sentences can make your essay more engaging.

task achievement

Ensure to diversify your vocabulary. Using a broad range of vocabulary can improve the clarity and impact of your arguments.

task achievement

Keep focusing on developing your ideas fully. While you provided good examples, expanding on these with more detail can strengthen your arguments even further.

coherence cohesion

Your essay provided a clear and logical structure, making your arguments easy to follow.

task achievement

You effectively used relevant examples to support your arguments which helped in illustrating your points clearly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

340 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

economic disparities
marginalized communities
criminal behavior
glorification
policing
judicial systems
impunity
social support programs
educational access
social inclusion
discrimination
media censorship
law enforcement
deterrent

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n many countries the amount of crime is increasing What do you think are the main causes of this? How can we deal with those causes?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is a commonly held belief that the death penalty is a good deterrent to prevent heinous crimes. However, others believe that life long sentence is a better deterrent. Discuss both views

Some people believe teenagers should focus on all subjects equally, whereas other people think that they should concentrate on only those subjects that they find interesting and they are best at. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing.

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?