IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people no longer read newspapers or watch TV news programmes. Instead they get news about the world from the Internet. Is this a positive or negative development?

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In the digital age, an increasing number of individuals prefer getting information from the
Internet
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instead
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 of reading
newspapers
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 or watching
television
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. I commonly think that it is a
favorable
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favourable
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 development that can contribute to easy access to data from all over the
world
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 and be
time- effective
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time-effective
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. First of all, a lot of
news
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 about the current
world
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 is accessible through the
Internet
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. So,
people
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 can use the
Internet
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 wherever they go,
although
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 it is impossible to take their
television
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to
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apply
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everywhere to stay informed about
news
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.
Thus
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, some countries are not
also
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 allowed to show or write international
news
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 on their national channels and
news
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, in
this
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 way, the
Internet
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 is the best option to get data about what happens in the
world
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.
For instance
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, the Russian government prohibited to spread of
news
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 about the
world
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's trends, and the usage of the
Internet
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 for getting data boosted.
Secondly
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,
although
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 reading
newspapers
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 and watching TV
news
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 is
time- consuming
Correct your spelling
time-consuming
show examples
,
people
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 can find relevant information about what they want to learn quickly via the
Internet
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.
Moreover
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, when
people
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 start reading
newspapers
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, it can take hours, and nowadays, individuals may not like wasting their time on awareness of the
world
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,
instead
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, the
Internet
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 provides brief plots about the events in the
world
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.
Also
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, the spreading of
news
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 via
television
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 needs time to prepare videos, and the preparation of
newspapers
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 always takes more than a day
while
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people
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 can immediately be informed through the
Internet
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. Time-effectiveness,
for example
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,
according to
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 the research of BHOS, most students use the
Internet
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 for quicker access to information rather than waiting for
television
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news
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 and publications of
newspapers
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.
To conclude
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, the
Internet
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 provides
people
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 with easy access to
news
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 and less waste of time
instead
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 of reading
newspapers
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 and waiting for TV
news
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.

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Content Expansion
To further enhance your essay, it would be beneficial to include a wider variety of examples and evidence to support your points. This can add depth to your argument and make your essay more engaging and convincing.
Language Variety
Try to incorporate a range of sentence structures and vocabulary to demonstrate your language ability. While your essay is clear and coherent, varied language use can elevate your writing.
Coherence Enhancement
Although your essay has a clear structure, consider using more explicit linking words and phrases to improve the flow from one idea to the next. This will make your argument even more coherent and easier to follow.
Task Response
Your essay effectively addressed the topic, presenting a well-reasoned argument on the impact of digital news consumption.
Structural Clarity
You have structured your essay well with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This organization aids in presenting your ideas effectively.
Effective Example Usage
The use of specific examples, such as the situation with Russian news censorship, strengthens your argument by providing real-world relevance.
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