Topic: The bar chart shows the percentage of people in the United Kingdom per age group without any qualifications.

#topic #bar #percentage #people #kingdom #age #group #qualifications

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The given bar chart illustrates the comparison of different

age

Use synonyms

groups of people in one country who didn't have any qualifications in 2009.

Overall

Linking Words

, the highest percentage of males and females without any qualification belonged to the oldest

age

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group,

while

Linking Words

the youngest generation of all sexes accounted for the lowest figures.

According to

Linking Words

the bar chart, the figures for

women

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who didn't have any qualifications were the highest for ages

from

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apply

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40-

49-years-old

Correct your spelling

49 years old

and 50-59/

64-years-old

Correct your spelling

64 years old

and accounted

around

Change preposition

for around

show examples

11% and 20%. respectively.

While

Linking Words

the percentage of men was lower than

women

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and witnessed about 10% and 17% for the same

age

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categories. The only two

age

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groups that showed the same number of

women

Use synonyms

and men without qualification were from 25-29 and 30-39 years old about 8%. From 20-24 years the figures for males remained the same approximately 8%,

while

Linking Words

women

Use synonyms

revealed 7%.

In contrast

Linking Words

, among the youngest group of people from 17-19 years, more men rather than

women

Use synonyms

were without qualifications and the percentage was 7% and 6%, respectively.

Submitted by lobacheva.design on Sun Apr 21 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, women with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

170 words

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Topic: The bar chart shows the percentage of people in the United Kingdom per age group without any qualifications.

More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think are some possible solutions?

In some countries ,children have very strict rule of behavior,while in other countries they are allowed to do anything they want .to what extent children have to follow rules? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples .