In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?
It is thought by some that more individuals will
travel
within the country than travelling overseas in the future
. I completely agree with this
statement as developments in international travel
and tourism industries have brought advantages and people
are inclined to experience different cultural innovations.
To begin
with, the advancements of
global Change preposition
in
travel
and tourism industries have made travelling more convienient
and affordable. Correct your spelling
convenient
In other words
, the developments of new airlines and hotels have made visiting other countries easy and cheap. For instance
, airlines such
as Air Asia provide the opportunity for clients to book tickets as well as
the
hotels at reasonable rates. Correct article usage
apply
As a result
, people
are persuaded to travel
for holidays to other countries as they might end up paying the same amount for a vacation in their own country.
Another point to consider is the opportunity to exploring
different cultures and their innovations. Change the verb
explore
This
trend will increase in the future
as people
are curious to learn more and enhance their knowledge. This
is to say that with innovation occurring in developed countries, travellers will be interested in experiencing these changes. For instance
, a study conducted by Harvard University reported that 60% of the
tourists visit Japan to explore their technology and robots. Correct article usage
apply
Hence
, it is clear that
these trends will increase in the future
.
In conclusion, although
it is stated that more people
will opt for vacationing in their own country than going abroad, I strongly oppose this
as global travel
is becoming advantageous and will continue to do so in the future
.Submitted by madonnasama on
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task response
Make sure your argument aligns with the prompt. The prompt asks if you agree with more people holidaying domestically, yet the essay argues the opposite. Clarity in directly answering the question is crucial.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure that your paragraph topics directly support your thesis. While the essay is structured, the main ideas sometimes diverge from directly answering the question as posed.
task achievement
Expanding on examples with more detail and how they directly support your main point will enrich your argument, making it more persuasive and relevant.
examples
Good use of examples to support your arguments, such as the Air Asia example, which helps to illustrate your points.
structure
Clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making your essay easy to follow.