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Writing Samples
Band 6

the chart below gives information about the amount of time children spend with their parents.

the chart below gives information about the amount of time children spend with their parents.
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The chart delineates the comparison of
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
time
Use synonyms
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 with their parents during weekdays and weekends across
Use synonyms
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
kids
Use synonyms
 spend
time
Use synonyms
 with their
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 between 8-10
hours
Use synonyms
 per day. During weekdays, children
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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mostly spend their
time
Use synonyms
 with their Mom.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, during
weekend
Add an article
the weekend
show examples
, more
time
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
spend
Change the form of the verb
spent
show examples
 with both
parent
Change to a plural noun
parents
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
On
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 the weekdays,
Change preposition
on averagely
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averagely
Change the word
average
show examples
kids
Use synonyms
 across
Use synonyms
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
 spend at least 5
hours
Use synonyms
 a day with their
mother
Fix the agreement mistake
mothers
show examples
. Second to that, they tend to spend their
time
Use synonyms
 with both parents with the peak at
age
Use synonyms
 8-9 Years old.
However
Linking Words
, at the
age
Use synonyms
 of 4-5,
kids
Use synonyms
 tend to spend their
time
Use synonyms
 with Dad after their mom.
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
 the weekends, more
time
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
spend
Change the form of the verb
spent
show examples
 with both
parent
Change to a plural noun
parents
show examples
 for more than 5
hours
Use synonyms
 a day across
Use synonyms
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
.
Menawhile
Correct your spelling
Meanwhile
, less
time
Use synonyms
 were
spend
Change the form of the verb
spent
show examples
 with
mother
Correct article usage
the mother
show examples
averagely
Change the word
average
show examples
less
Change preposition
of less
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 than 4
hours
Use synonyms
 across
Use synonyms
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
.
Time
Use synonyms
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 with dad is showing gradual growth as the
kids
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
apply
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a growing but started to
slowing
Change the verb
slow
show examples
 down when the
kids
Use synonyms
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 6 years old

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, age, kids, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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