Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #information #research #business #world

Each and every country invests a certain amount of

money

research

these days, as there is a competition

Change preposition

for

show examples

inventing something new, so, that they can have an advantage over the other nations.

Research

conducted in science, business and academics is always considered the most important and critical one.

This

is the reason some believe that it should not be shared with everyone,

whereas

other

Change the wording

another

show examples

cohort believes that it will be a great help if

such

information is shared without any conditions. I will discuss both views and will give my opinion about why

such

information should not be shared.

To begin

with, people who believe that

such

important data should not be shared feel that it may be a threat to

Correct article usage

the

show examples

region where it was conducted.

For instance

, if a

county

Correct your spelling

country

show examples

shares details about its

research

related to making weapons like nuclear bombs,

then

it will be a threat as anyone can make

such

weapon

Fix the agreement mistake

weapons

show examples

Along with

this

such

research

needs a lot of finances involved, and a nation will not be able to earn anything back if

its

Replace the word

it's

it is

show examples

shared freely.

For example

covid

Correct your spelling

the

vaccine involved a lot of

money

and effort and once it was made the companies sold it

Change preposition

show examples

a good price and got the invested

money

back.

On the contrary

, if

such

valuable data is shared freely,

then

all the countries will not have to spend their financial resources on

same

Add an article

the same

show examples

research

as it would be wasteful.

This

will be a great aid to third world countries as that

money

can be invested in some other important areas.

For example

, India is a developing country with a high population rate, if the important content is shared by other developed countries like America and Australia,

then

India can invest that valuable asset

Change preposition

show examples

other aspects like infrastructure.

However

, it is not fair

Change preposition

show examples

the person or

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

group who has conducted the

research

because it involves a lot of hard work and dedication

for inventing

Change preposition

to invent

show examples

a new thing.

This

is one of the main reasons that I believe information should not be shared freely. The gist of the matter is that despite having lots of benefits of sharing details of a

research

, it should not be shared freely because the negative aspects of

such

sharing cannot be snubbed as it will be a threat

than

Rephrase

rather than

show examples

a blessing for researchers and a nation where the

research

was conducted.

Submitted by kiran.deep24 on Mon Apr 22 2024

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Task Achievement

Ensure your essay is balanced by discussing both sides of the argument equally before providing your own opinion. This will enhance your task response score.

Coherence & Cohesion

To further improve coherence, use a wider range of linking words and phrases to more clearly connect your ideas and paragraphs.

Task Achievement

Enhance your essay by incorporating more specific examples to support your points. Real-world cases and statistics can add depth to your argument.

Language

Readers appreciate variety in language. Try to incorporate a broader vocabulary and avoid repetition of words for a more engaging read.

Coherence & Cohesion

You've done an excellent job structuring your essay with a clear introduction, discussion of both views, and your own opinion in the conclusion.

Task Achievement

You effectively addressed the prompt by discussing both views on the issue and providing your own perspective, which is crucial for task response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

403 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

information sharing
scientific research
business
academic world
advancement of knowledge
progress
collaboration
cross-disciplinary research
open access
democratization of information
transparency
credibility
intellectual property
security concerns
commercial interests

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Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree?

An increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. Why is this the case, and what solutions are possible?

some children spend ours everyday on their smartphones whiy is this the case; Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

On vehicle-free day, private cars, trucks and motorcycles are banned in the city centre while the public transport is permitted such as bicycle, buses and taxis. Do the benefits of vehicle- day outweigh the disadvantages

The internet has become profoundly effcient and popular that people choose it as a platform to learn.Some believe that it would eventually replace the need for books.Do you agree or disagree?