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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

International travelers can cause problems in the countries to which they travel. On the other hand, international travelers can bring real advantages with them. Do the problems international travelers cause greater than the advantages they bring?

#travelers #countries #travel #hand
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People who travel to other countries can pose possible problems in the destinations
as well as
 some providing some benefits to them.
This
 essay will discuss how magnificent the benefits are compared to possible pitfalls. It is generally approved by whole countries that people are allowed to transfer to different locations by considering some rules and precautions. On the one hand, some assume that incoming travellers cause some problems in the
country
 like overcrowding streets, shopping centres and transportation system and it leads to citizens inconvenience especially when they are in a rush to conduct an important matter.
In addition
, they are unaware of the culture of the
country
 and sometimes trespass the regulations that illustrate those faults as a usual occurrence for the dwellers. All in all, they magnify the negative points and see the glass half empty.
On the other hand
, the majority of the general public believes that tourists import precious things to the
country
 including their culture, traditions and more importantly money which helps the economic situation improve. They justify that when individuals enter a
country
 they freely import their cultures and attitudes to the
country
 and it can be utilized in different cultural and educational places
such
 as schools.
Moreover
, they import international currency with themselves which can enrich the government and people in the end.
Therefore
, the more tourists enter a
country
 the more currencies will be imported and the better affected the economy. In a nutshell, a great amount of profits will be provided for the
country
.
To sum up
,
this
 essay discussed two different ideas regarding coming travellers and in my opinion, numerous advantages outweigh some minor disadvantages in
this
 regard and it would be better for countries to reinforce their infrastructures to absorb as many tourists.
Submitted by keyhan454 on

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coherence
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that subsequent sentences elaborate or support that idea to maintain focus and clarity.
task achievement
To strengthen your essay, you could include more specific examples to support your arguments. This adds depth and persuasiveness to your discussion.
coherence
Good use of cohesive devices to connect ideas smoothly.
task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument effectively.
coherence
The structure of your essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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