IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people in cities today live in high-rise apartment blocks. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this type of living?

High-rise
apartment
Use synonyms
blocks
Use synonyms
 are a common sight in
cities
Use synonyms
 around the world. They are especially popular in large
cities
Use synonyms
 and in locations where building land is scarce. Living in
such
Linking Words
 buildings has various advantages and disadvantages for town planners and the inhabitants themselves. The most significant advantage of high-rise
apartment
Use synonyms
blocks
Use synonyms
 is probably for the town planners. With land often being at a premium in large
cities
Use synonyms
, one way to maximise space is to build upwards, so that the population density per square kilometre can be increased. The demand for housing in big
cities
Use synonyms
 can
therefore
Linking Words
 be more easily met. There are
also
Linking Words
 disadvantages for town planners. The heavier population density can put added pressure on social facilities,
for
Linking Words
example
Punctuation problem
example,
show examples
 sewage and other waste disposal, and the provision of adequate school and medical services. There are
also
Linking Words
 advantages and disadvantages for the actual inhabitants of high-rise
apartment
Use synonyms
blocks
Use synonyms
. With the demand for housing being reduced, prices are
therefore
Linking Words
 not as high, making housing more affordable. Many
people
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 like not having to be responsible for a garden, and living in an
apartment
Use synonyms
 has
this
Linking Words
 advantage.
Finally
Linking Words
, with so many
people
Use synonyms
 living in the same area, many friendships can be made and a community spirit can be built up. It appears the most significant disadvantage is that, in practice, living in high-rise
apartment
Use synonyms
blocks
Use synonyms
 is just not the lifestyle many
people
Use synonyms
 want. In some city neighbourhoods, these living spaces can often be associated with poor living conditions and undesirable social elements.
In addition
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 view high-rise
apartment
Use synonyms
blocks
Use synonyms
 as being unsafe.
For example
Linking Words
, in the case of fire, tall buildings are difficult or impossible to evacuate safely.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 high-rise
apartment
Use synonyms
blocks
Use synonyms
 have benefits and drawbacks. It is
also
Linking Words
 clear,
however
Linking Words
, that
due to
Linking Words
 the need to house increasing numbers of
people
Use synonyms
 in
cities
Use synonyms
, these architectural features are here to stay, whether
people
Use synonyms
 like them or not.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Introduce clearer topic sentences for each paragraph. This helps guide the reader through your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words or phrases to connect ideas more smoothly. This can improve the flow of your writing.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. Examples make your ideas stronger and easier to understand.
task achievement
You presented both advantages and disadvantages clearly, showing a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader follow your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • high-rise apartment blocks
  • densely populated
  • housing shortages
  • shared amenities
  • security personnel
  • surveillance systems
  • social interaction
  • panoramic views
  • isolation
  • noise pollution
  • outdoor spaces
  • evacuation times
  • personalization
  • building regulations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: