The table below shows the numbers of visitors to ashdown museum during the year before and year after the refurbished. The chart show result of survays asking how they were satisfied with their visit during the same two period The table below shows the numbers of visitors to ashdown museum during the year before and year after the refurbished. The chart show result of survays asking how they were satisfied with their visit during the same two period

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to ashdown museum during the year before and year after the refurbished. The chart show result of survays asking how they were satisfied with their visit during the same two period

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to ashdown museum during the year before and year after the refurbished. The chart show result of survays asking how they were satisfied with their visit during the same two period
The table illustrates the number of visitors who
visit
Wrong verb form
visited
show examples
both before and after Ashdown
Museum
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
refurbished and the chart presents the proportion of visitor feelings during attendance
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
museum
in both years.
Overall
,
it is clear that
the number of tourists
increases
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
as well
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
a majority of them
enjoys
Wrong verb form
enjoyed
show examples
their visit after the
museum
refurbishing.
To begin
with, the exhibition attendees jumped up by 18,000, from 74,000 to 92,000, after their renovation. The satisfaction of tourists in the year before the renovation
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
occupied 15% extremely like and 30% satisfied.
On the other hand
, 50% of the attendees were unlikely satisfied with their
museum
visit. After remodelling, the percentage of satisfaction of people shot up to a third-fourth ,around 40% of them enjoyed their time
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
30% were spellbound, and only 20% of them disliked it comprising 15% dissatisfied and 5% very dissatisfied.
In addition
, the number of no responses still remained the same as before refurbishing, at 5%.
Submitted by nnatthinee on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words museum with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: