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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations
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In unpleasant conditions, a few people perceive that accepting bad situations, including a shortage of money or unsatisfactory jobs is for the best. Even so, others think that making an
effort
 to improve those circumstances is a better way of handling it.
Likewise
, I personally believe that trying to fix it is the best option. On the one hand, accepting the
situation
 appears as the better choice as there is a lack of guarantee for a better
situation
. As an example, people with jobs that are unsatisfactory still stick to them because they perceive that there are no better situations. On top of that, being in a bad
situation
 results in an unwell emotional state leading to reluctance to put out
effort
.
On the other hand
, to consider that the
situation
 could not get worse becomes the motivation for those who put
effort
 into improving the
situation
.
Although
 no guarantee is presented, trying would still give out results that may be similar or possibly better.
For instance
, handling the lack of money
situation
 by applying for jobs could land them an additional job but being declined from it would not worsen their
situation
.
Thus
,
this
 becomes the better action for taking care of the
situation
. In conclusion, bad situations are just embraced by some as there is no guarantee that the
situation
 could get better
whereas
 others put
effort
 into improving that
situation
 as there is no harm in trying to improve the
situation
, it does not worsen but has the possibility to better it
instead
.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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task achievement
It's important to elaborate more on the examples and use varied, specific instances to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve the transitions between paragraphs to ensure a smoother flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well-supported and contribute logically to the argument.
task achievement
The task is addressed comprehensively, with a balanced discussion of both views and a clear personal opinion.
task achievement
The ideas presented are clear and easy to understand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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