In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

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Living with family and living alone far away from
home
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during university have their own benefits and disadvantages, but in my
understanding
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understanding,
show examples
those two have equal
amount
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amounts
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of benefits and disadvantages. Living with family can be a method of saving money since we do not have to
paid
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pay
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for new housing and it can cut up the living cost, and
also
Linking Words
we don't have to
adapting
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adapt
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ourself
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
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into
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to
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a new environment since we have been living with our family our whole life.
However
Linking Words
, many people
finds
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find
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living with family
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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challenging despite they have been living together for all of their life. The problem
is vary
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varies
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, it can
concerning
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concern
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privacy,
independency
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independence
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, and freedom. One of the cases,
when
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is when
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we in the process
reaching
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of reaching
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adulthood we develop new lifestyles that sometimes our family have a problem
to adjusted
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adjusting
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to
it
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apply
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and it can set a conflict between family members. In my opinion, it
is really depends
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really depends
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on the individual. Living away from
home
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and family is a great option if we want to learn and gain
independency
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independence
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, living without our family
challenge
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challenges
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us to maintain our life and learn to become an adult. We could do anything that we have not done in our
home
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, we could
also
Linking Words
adjust our place to stay to our own liking.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, living far away from
home
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can make us lonely and
got
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get
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us homesick since we start fresh and have to make ourselves
adapting
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adapt
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to the new
enviornment
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environment
. It
is feels
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feels
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like taking a first step again, but with
new
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the new
a new
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place and new people. In summary, those two choices are
a
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apply
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great
choice
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choices
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when we
chooses
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choose
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wisely. We need to make up our
mind
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minds
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on what should we prioritize first and which disadvantages
that
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apply
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we
could
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can
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bare
Verb problem
bear
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ourselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
Submitted by nadiaanandh on

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task achievement
Strive to provide more specific examples to support your discussion. Concrete examples make your argument more compelling and understandable.
coherence & cohesion
Consider organizing your essay into clearer paragraphs with distinct introductions for each new main idea. This will enhance readability and structure.
task achievement
Develop your argument further by examining the impact of both living at home and away from home on university students more deeply. Consider aspects like academic performance, social development, and emotional well-being.
coherence & cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to show the relationships between your ideas more clearly, which will improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
You've introduced both sides of the argument, presenting a balanced view, which is excellent for the task.
coherence & cohesion
You effectively summarized your key points in the conclusion, reinforcing your argument nicely.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
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