In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?
Living with family and living alone far away from
home
during university have their own benefits and disadvantages, but in my understanding
those two have equal Add a comma
understanding,
amount
of benefits and disadvantages. Living with family can be a method of saving money since we do not have to Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
paid
for new housing and it can cut up the living cost, and Change the form of the verb
pay
also
we don't have to adapting
Change the verb form
adapt
ourself
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
into
a new environment since we have been living with our family our whole life.
Change preposition
to
However
, many people finds
living with family Change the verb form
find
is
challenging despite they have been living together for all of their life. The problem Unnecessary verb
apply
is vary
, it can Change the verb form
varies
concerning
privacy, Wrong verb form
concern
independency
, and freedom. One of the cases, Correct your spelling
independence
when
we in the process Add a missing verb
is when
reaching
adulthood we develop new lifestyles that sometimes our family have a problem Change preposition
of reaching
to adjusted
to Wrong verb form
adjusting
it
and it can set a conflict between family members.
In my opinion, it Correct pronoun usage
apply
is really depends
on the individual. Living away from Change the verb form
really depends
home
and family is a great option if we want to learn and gain independency
, living without our family Correct your spelling
independence
challenge
us to maintain our life and learn to become an adult. We could do anything that we have not done in our Correct subject-verb agreement
challenges
home
, we could also
adjust our place to stay to our own liking.
Nonetheless
, living far away from home
can make us lonely and got
us homesick since we start fresh and have to make ourselves Wrong verb form
get
adapting
to the new Wrong verb form
adapt
enviornment
. It Correct your spelling
environment
is feels
like taking a first step again, but with Change the verb form
feels
new
place and new people.
In summary, those two choices are Add an article
the new
a new
a
great Correct article usage
apply
choice
when we Fix the agreement mistake
choices
chooses
wisely. We need to make up our Change the verb form
choose
mind
on what should we prioritize first and which disadvantages Fix the agreement mistake
minds
that
we Correct pronoun usage
apply
could
Wrong verb form
can
bare
Verb problem
bear
ourselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
with
.Change preposition
apply
Submitted by nadiaanandh on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Strive to provide more specific examples to support your discussion. Concrete examples make your argument more compelling and understandable.
coherence & cohesion
Consider organizing your essay into clearer paragraphs with distinct introductions for each new main idea. This will enhance readability and structure.
task achievement
Develop your argument further by examining the impact of both living at home and away from home on university students more deeply. Consider aspects like academic performance, social development, and emotional well-being.
coherence & cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to show the relationships between your ideas more clearly, which will improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
You've introduced both sides of the argument, presenting a balanced view, which is excellent for the task.
coherence & cohesion
You effectively summarized your key points in the conclusion, reinforcing your argument nicely.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.