In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

Living with family and living alone far away from
home
during university have their own benefits and disadvantages, but in my
understanding
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understanding,
show examples
those two have equal
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
of benefits and disadvantages. Living with family can be a method of saving money since we do not have to
paid
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pay
show examples
for new housing and it can cut up the living cost, and
also
we don't have to
adapting
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adapt
show examples
ourself
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
show examples
into
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to
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a new environment since we have been living with our family our whole life.
However
, many people
finds
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find
show examples
living with family
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
challenging despite they have been living together for all of their life. The problem
is vary
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varies
show examples
, it can
concerning
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concern
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privacy,
independency
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independence
show examples
, and freedom. One of the cases,
when
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is when
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we in the process
reaching
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of reaching
show examples
adulthood we develop new lifestyles that sometimes our family have a problem
to adjusted
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adjusting
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to
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and it can set a conflict between family members. In my opinion, it
is really depends
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really depends
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on the individual. Living away from
home
and family is a great option if we want to learn and gain
independency
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independence
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, living without our family
challenge
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challenges
show examples
us to maintain our life and learn to become an adult. We could do anything that we have not done in our
home
, we could
also
adjust our place to stay to our own liking.
Nonetheless
, living far away from
home
can make us lonely and
got
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get
show examples
us homesick since we start fresh and have to make ourselves
adapting
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adapt
show examples
to the new
enviornment
Correct your spelling
environment
. It
is feels
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feels
show examples
like taking a first step again, but with
new
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the new
a new
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place and new people. In summary, those two choices are
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
great
choice
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choices
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when we
chooses
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choose
show examples
wisely. We need to make up our
mind
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minds
show examples
on what should we prioritize first and which disadvantages
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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we
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
bare
Verb problem
bear
show examples
ourselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
Submitted by nadiaanandh on

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task achievement
Strive to provide more specific examples to support your discussion. Concrete examples make your argument more compelling and understandable.
coherence & cohesion
Consider organizing your essay into clearer paragraphs with distinct introductions for each new main idea. This will enhance readability and structure.
task achievement
Develop your argument further by examining the impact of both living at home and away from home on university students more deeply. Consider aspects like academic performance, social development, and emotional well-being.
coherence & cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to show the relationships between your ideas more clearly, which will improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
You've introduced both sides of the argument, presenting a balanced view, which is excellent for the task.
coherence & cohesion
You effectively summarized your key points in the conclusion, reinforcing your argument nicely.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
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