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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The maps below pancha village in 2005 and 2015 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

The maps below pancha village in 2005 and 2015 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.
The maps illustrate the condition of Pancha
village
Use synonyms
 in 2005 and 2015. In general, there is a significant public facilities alteration from the location, since there are a lot of new developments
such
Linking Words
 as the main
road
Use synonyms
 and facilities(streetlight and parabola).
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the secondary
school
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and pagoda building
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 built in the
village
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 2005 Pancha
village
Use synonyms
 had no main
road
Use synonyms
 built that was suitable for motor
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
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, the main
road
Use synonyms
 was filled with rocks and no street lights. There were two big buildings in the corner of the
village
Use synonyms
 for a primary
school
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and two pagoda buildings on the other side.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
market place
Correct your spelling
marketplace
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 was quite small, there were only 5 stalls opened up there, even though the residential area was a lot more than in the future.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the main
road
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 was modernised in 2015 with concrete and street lights, and two base transceiver stations
constructed
Add a missing verb
were constructed
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 near the residential area and main
road
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a couple of houses were demolished but
a
Remove the article
apply
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half of them added a parabola for their house and the primary
school
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 expanded to have another building as a secondary
school
Use synonyms
.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the
village
Use synonyms
 was erected a new pagoda building.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words village, road, school with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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