People should stop using their mobile phone when they are with other people. How much do you agree with this opinion and why? Give reasons and examples to support your answer.
Disagree: 1.
Faciliate
shared experience and connections. 2. Essential to check Correct your spelling
Facilitate
message
regularly.
In Fix the agreement mistake
messages
this
day and age, the importance of banning cell phones
when people
are hanging out which was always debatable has now become more controversial with many people
claiming that it is beneficial while
others reject this
notion. From my point of view, I totally disagree with this
statement. Instead
, it is of utmost importance that mobile can facilitate conversation with shared experiences and connecteions
Correct your spelling
connections
while
people
can check message
regularly with a view to not missing vital information.
Fix the agreement mistake
messages
To begin
with, phones
will become a must-have tool for human
to communicate Fix the agreement mistake
humans
becuase
they can share different contexts with it. Correct your spelling
because
For instance
, when we are meeting someone who are
not familiar with, Change the verb form
is
people
tend to keep quiet and speak less. It is difficult for people
to generate certain interest topics. As a result
, the whole conversation would be embarrassing. Nevertheless
, if we use phones
to share some
photos or news, it can engender different contexts to discuss. Once we pick up a topic that Correct quantifier usage
apply
other
may Fix the agreement mistake
others
also
Add a missing verb
be interest
interest
in, the communication will be amazing. Replace the word
interested
Although
people
claim that phone
may detract the time with others, Fix the agreement mistake
phones
it
actually enhance our social interaction if we use Correct pronoun usage
they
it
properly.
Correct pronoun usage
them
In addition
, smart is essential for individual
to receive various types of information, be it work-related, family-related or friend-related. Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
Develpment
of technology Correct your spelling
Development
shorten
the distance between Change the verb form
shortens
people
so we can know what is happening no matter where we are. To illustruate
, in the past, Correct your spelling
illustrate
people
cannot
chat easily. It Wrong verb form
could not
also
means if some accidents happen, they cannot know it as soon as possible. Nonetheless
, people
can share facts by using internet
. Even if their parents or Add an article
the internet
friend
have urgent Fix the agreement mistake
friends
issue
, they can discover Fix the agreement mistake
issues
it
sooner and help them.
In conclusion, I believe that the aforementioned points strongly support my viewpoint. Not only are mobile Correct pronoun usage
them
phones
helpful in chatting, but they also
provide a quick method for mankind to know what are the things happening around us.Submitted by hhhakfatkiu on
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Introduction Clarity
Make sure your introduction clearly presents your view on the statement. You've done well in stating your disagreement, but a more direct thesis statement could strengthen your position.
Paragraph Structure
In the body paragraphs, ensure each main point is introduced with a clear topic sentence. This helps readers immediately understand the primary focus of each paragraph.
Sentence Variety
Consider varying your sentence structures more to demonstrate a wide range of linguistic capabilities. This not only makes your writing more engaging but can also improve the coherence of your text.
Proofreading
Carefully proofread your essay for minor errors in spelling, grammar, and word choice. While these do not significantly detract from the overall quality, polishing your essay can contribute to a clearer and more professional presentation.
Example Usage
You effectively used examples to support your opinions, making your arguments more tangible and persuasive.
Conclusion Strength
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint and reinforces the main arguments presented in the essay, which is a strong strategy for coherence and cohesion.
Logical Structure
Your essay presents a logical structure that guides the reader through your argument, aiding in the overall coherence and cohesion of your response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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