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Band 1

Children need to learn right from wrong at an early age and punishment is the most effect way. To what extent do you agree? What punishment should be given?

#children #right #age #punishment #effect
Punishment guides children to be more disciplined. Learning that actions have consequences helps them develop the ability to reflect on their behaviour after a transgression in order to make a better decision in the future. A child who has faced spankings or a restriction on privileges,
for example
, will want to avoid pain or missing out.
This
 will lead to the development of certain personality traits, the most important of which is compliance.
Submitted by banhbao0565 on

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Introduction
Expand your essay to include an introduction that clearly states your opinion on the topic. This will provide a strong foundation for your arguments.
Conclusion
To achieve a higher score, your essay could benefit from a conclusion that summarizes your main points and reiterates your position on the issue.
Cohesion
To enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay, use transition words and phrases to link your ideas more seamlessly.
Examples
Incorporate a more diverse range of examples and evidence to support your arguments, making your response more persuasive and comprehensive.
Understanding
Your essay shows a good understanding of the topic, and your argument about the effect of punishment on child development is clearly presented.
Use of Examples
You effectively use specific examples, like spankings or restriction on privileges, to illustrate your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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