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Writing Samples
Band 6

Chorleywood is a village near London whose population has increased steadily since the middle of the nineteenth century. The map below shows the development of the village. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the development of the village.

Chorleywood is a village near London whose population has increased steadily since the middle of the nineteenth century. The map below shows the development of the village. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the development of the village.
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The map illustrates the expansion of
Chorleywood
village
 as It experiences a rise in its
populatiom
Correct your spelling
population
.
Overall
,
It is clear that
 the
village
 saw the most development between 1970 and 1994.
However
, from 1868 to 1883 the amount of expansion was less
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 other periods. From 1868 to 1883 the
village
 was extended from just one
side
, at the right
side
 and in the northern
side
 of the Railway that was built later in 1909.
However
, in the period of 39 years from 1883,
Chorleywood
 was extended more than in the first period. The expansion was made from the right
side
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 main road, again and
then
,
Chorleywood
 Station was constructed in the area. The
village
 saw the biggest rise in its extent from 1922 to 1994.
Chorleywood
 was getting bigger from two sides from 1922 to 1970, in the southern part of
Railway
Correct article usage
the Railway
show examples
 and at the left and right
side
 of the main road, just in the southern part of
Chorleywood
 Park.
Then
, in the period that was initiated from 1970 and lasted for 24 years, 5 separate areas were joined to the hamlet
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
all of them were near the motorway that was constructed in 1970.
Submitted by yasinisback8 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chorleywood, village, side with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • village
  • population
  • increased steadily
  • middle of the nineteenth century
  • development
  • location
  • factors
  • contributing
  • physical
  • infrastructural
  • effects
  • conclusion
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