IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that the government should provide free education at every level.However,some say that individuals should pay for their university education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people believe that our government should facilitate free education at every stage of study but
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same time, other
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 we must pay
our
Change preposition
for our
show examples
 higher
studies
Use synonyms
 finance by himself.
However
Linking Words
,in some cases, it is possible when you have
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
show examples
 and
well established
Add a hyphen
well-established
show examples
 family background which pays our university
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
 but in my opinion, the government must take responsibility by giving free of cost education.
Firstly
Linking Words
, funding
studies
Use synonyms
 from the government
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
help all the communities to
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
 in that programmes which trigger their interest.
Therefore
Linking Words
, people choose their degrees without fear of financial pressure and they will just focus on their goals
achieving
Verb problem
apply
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of managing their funds. Another benefit of
this
Linking Words
, it will demolish
disparity
Correct article usage
the disparity
show examples
 between rich and poor students to study in a different
envirment
Correct your spelling
environment
.
As a result
Linking Words
, the real purpose of education
fulfills
Wrong verb form
fulfil
show examples
 and
imposes
Correct subject-verb agreement
impose
show examples
a healthy lifestyles
Correct the article-noun agreement
a healthy lifestyle
healthy lifestyles
show examples
 among the people to cater
all
Change preposition
to all
show examples
 the problems in a society like poverty, equality and racism.
Secondly
Linking Words
, if students or their parents have to manage
Add an article
the expense
show examples
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
then
Linking Words
 it will
depends
Change the verb form
depend
show examples
 on their
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 circumstances to decide which university or
whick
Correct your spelling
which
 kind of degree they have to study.
For instance
Linking Words
, they must
sacrifices
Change the verb form
sacrifice
show examples
 their dreams
due to
Linking Words
 lack of funds.
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 particular reason, many students who do not belong to
wealthy
Add an article
a wealthy
show examples
 family, they will not get the chance to continue their
studies
Use synonyms
 and
then
Linking Words
 they will have to work
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 local shops and do odd jobs to feed their household members rather than
studying
Wrong verb form
study
show examples
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, our educational authorities must think
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 that perspective and take measures to do something for the well-being of the
humanbeings
Correct your spelling
human beings
. I believe that it is difficult for the lower middle class to deal with
these issue
Change the determiner
this issue
these issues
show examples
,
although
Linking Words
 the upper class will take
this
Linking Words
 opportunity
beacause
Correct your spelling
because
 they have affordability to
mange
Correct your spelling
manage
show examples
.

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structure
Your essay provides a clear viewpoint and discusses both sides, which is great. To enhance, strive for a more structured approach to organizing your paragraphs. Each should start with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea you'll discuss.
cohesion
Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases for smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. While you have achieved this to some extent, there's room for improvement to create a more cohesive and coherent flow.
content
For task achievement, aim to provide more specific examples and detailed explanations to support your arguments better. This will help make your points more persuasive and comprehensible.
grammar
Watch out for occasional grammatical errors and typos. These don't majorly detract from understanding but polishing these will improve the professionalism and clarity of your writing.
introduction/conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and provide a clear overview of the essay's direction, which is excellent.
task response
You have effectively addressed both views as the prompt requested, showing an understanding of the task.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental right
  • financial barriers
  • disadvantaged backgrounds
  • socio-economic inequality
  • personal investment
  • economic burden
  • diverse academic environment
  • student debt crisis
  • academic prestige
  • national innovation
  • balanced approach
  • subsidized education
  • scholarships and grants
  • personal responsibility
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