Some people say in other to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Housing issues and enhancing environmental quality should be major concerns of governments, aiming to prevent illness and disease.
This
essay will explain the writer’s opposition to the mentioned belief.
Linking Words
Firstly
, environmental Linking Words
pollution
might be responsible for a modest number of Use synonyms
health
problems. It is true that air Use synonyms
pollution
causes asthma or toxins contaminating Use synonyms
in
refreshments Change preposition
apply
make
painters suffer from digestion problems, Wrong verb form
making
however
, Linking Words
pollution
is one of many contributory factors. Use synonyms
Moreover
, there are some practical methods in order to prevent Linking Words
effects
of Correct article usage
the effects
pollution
on Use synonyms
human’s
Change noun form
human
health
Use synonyms
such
as wearing facemasks so the number of cases can be cut down. Linking Words
On the other hand
, a high density of houses or slumps is just a condition for disease Linking Words
widespreading
easier with an example the COVID-19 crisis in populous areas in India or China.
A crucial reason for Correct your spelling
wide-spreading
widespread
health
issues today is a sedentary lifestyle. Pressure from work and Use synonyms
convenience
of modern vehicles reduce the time people Correct article usage
the convenience
spending
on Wrong verb form
spend
exercises
, Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
hence
their bodies cannot eliminate excessive energy or chemicals. Linking Words
Therefore
, Linking Words
a
number of diabetes and strokes climb up unless these contaminants are removed. Another method to prevent illness is vaccines, which Correct article usage
the
has
been Correct subject-verb agreement
have
proved
through the COVID-19 epidemic recently. Vaccines help people improve their immune system, making treatments Correct your spelling
proven
more
easier and reducing the chance of becoming a patient.
In conclusion, environmental Change the word
apply
pollution
and issues of housing are not effective solutions for preventing illness and diseases Use synonyms
that
authorities should pay too much attention. Making lifestyle more dynamic thanks to Correct word choice
and
exercises
and vaccines are alternatives to measure Wrong verb form
exercise
health
problems.Use synonyms
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Task Response
Try to directly address the question by stating your position clearly in the introduction. A more distinct agreement or disagreement will enhance Task Response.
Task Response
Ensure to provide more elaborate examples that directly relate to how environmental pollution and housing problems can cause illnesses, which could strengthen your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Maintain a clear logical flow in your paragraphs. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that indicates what the paragraph will discuss, improving Coherence and Cohesion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use linking words to connect ideas within and between paragraphs to help the reader understand the relationship between your ideas more easily.
Task Achievement
You've made an effort to cover the topic comprehensively and present a unique perspective.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay structure includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is good for the overall organization.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.