Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Government officials are obliged to reduce housing problems and environmental
pollution
for the purpose of preventing disease and illness. I agree that this
action is completely necessary due to
how health
of citizens and ecosystems may benefit Add an article
the health
overall
.
It is obvious that the environment which surrounds humans are
the main Correct subject-verb agreement
is
factors
deciding their health. Fix the agreement mistake
factor
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
proofs
why environmental Replace the word
proves
pollution
and housing problems are the two main culprits of
causing disease. Change preposition
apply
Therefore
, it enforces the need for reducing
those issues. If Change preposition
to reduce
problem solving
is successful, humans will gain the benefits of vigorous health for many years to come Add a hyphen
problem-solving
as a result
. Thus
, countries should not hesitate to invest their effort to solve the crisis of pollution
and bad accommodation management.
People will not be the only one
gaining the benefits from Correct pronoun usage
ones
this
situation if that is
the case. Evidently, animals are also
suffering from human pollutants and poor housing as ecosystems are destroyed and contaminated every second. Ultimately, the consequence
of those disasters might reach the residents Fix the agreement mistake
consequences
through
some way in the near future. Change preposition
in
As a consequence
, a catastrophe may result if nothing is done about this
problem. For instance
, a mass of land consists
of enormous amounts of trash is floating around the Great Pacific and causing various unhygienic issues, and it will lead to more serious and inevitable consequences if not dealt with now.
In conclusion, whilst some may disagree, proponents Wrong verb form
consisting
such
as myself will go along with
the idea of investing in solving pollution
and issues related to accommodation. This
will be to ensure a safe and healthy future for humans and wildlife.Submitted by [email protected]
on
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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure the introduction directly addresses the question, outlining your stance clearly to set the tone for the essay.
Supporting Examples
Try to include more specific examples and statistics to support your arguments. Real-world examples or data can make your arguments more convincing.
Cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices to demonstrate the relationship between ideas more clearly. While your essay has a good logical flow, occasionally, transitions could be smoother.
Grammar & Spelling
Be cautious with occasional grammar and spelling errors. These can detract from the clarity of your ideas.
Content Relevance
You've effectively outlined the link between environmental issues and human welfare, providing a solid basis for your argument.
Conclusion
Your conclusion does well to summarize the essay, reinforcing your stance on the issue.