some people say in order to prevent illness and disease governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #illness #disease #governments #focus #pollution

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In today's society, the debate over the most effective ways to avoid illness and disease has grown.

While

Linking Words

I understand why some say that government efforts should be

centered

Change the spelling

centred

show examples

on reducing environmental

pollution

Use synonyms

and addressing housing

issues

Use synonyms

, I feel they should not be the only focus of government activity. On the one hand, lowering environmental pollutants and improving living conditions can result in major

health

Use synonyms

advantages. Air

pollution

Use synonyms

, which is mostly generated by vehicle emissions and industrial activity, has been related to respiratory disorders like asthma and lung cancer.

Governments

Use synonyms

can greatly lower the prevalence of

such

Linking Words

illnesses by enforcing strict emission laws and investing in greener energy sources.

Similarly

Linking Words

, addressing housing

issues

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as overcrowding and filthy living conditions can help reduce the spread of infectious diseases like tuberculosis and hepatitis. Initiatives

such

Linking Words

as New Zealand's Healthy Homes program have successfully reduced cases of

such

Linking Words

illnesses by addressing dampness and

mold

Change the spelling

mould

show examples

in dwellings. I contend,

however

Linking Words

, that concentrating only on housing

issues

Use synonyms

and environmental

pollution

Use synonyms

may miss other important factors that affect public

health

Use synonyms

. Bad lifestyle choices,

such

Linking Words

eating

Change preposition

as eating

show examples

poorly and not exercising,

also

Linking Words

play a big part in the development of chronic illnesses like diabetes and heart problems. To encourage healthy habits and provide people the power to make decisions about their

health

Use synonyms

governments

Use synonyms

should put in place education and intervention programs.

In addition

Linking Words

, promoting equal

health

Use synonyms

outcomes requires addressing the inaccessibility of

healthcare

Use synonyms

services. People from marginalized groups may still encounter difficulties getting access to

healthcare

Use synonyms

because of financial and geographic limitations, even if environmental

pollution

Use synonyms

is decreased and housing circumstances improve.

Governments

Use synonyms

can address underlying

health

Use synonyms

inequities and improve general public

health

Use synonyms

by prioritizing

healthcare

Use synonyms

infrastructure construction and implementing policies that reduce financial obstacles to

healthcare

Use synonyms

access. In conclusion, I argue that

governments

Use synonyms

should take into account other determinants of public

health

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as unhealthy lifestyle

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

and

healthcare

Use synonyms

accessibility, in order to adopt a more comprehensive approach to disease prevention, even though addressing environmental

pollution

Use synonyms

and housing

issues

Use synonyms

is imperative.

Mon Apr 22 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Consider reinforcing your points with more varied examples and statistics to enhance argument strength.

task achievement

Balance the discussion of solutions beyond housing and pollution to cover more ground in your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Refine sentence structures for smoother transitions between ideas, enhancing readability.

coherence and cohesion

Develop your introduction and conclusion further to encapsulate your viewpoint more distinctly.

task achievement

Articulated a clear stance on the topic, enriching the essay's task response.

coherence and cohesion

Demonstrated a good range of vocabulary and sentence structures, contributing to coherence.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

335 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

preventive healthcare
environmental regulations
respiratory diseases
public health policies
sanitation facilities
urban planning
communicable diseases
socio-economic factors
sustainable development
government intervention
healthcare infrastructure
industrial emissions
air quality index
affordable housing
mental wellbeing

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Currently there is a trend towards the use of alternative forms of medicine. However, at best these methods are ineffective, and at worst they may be dangerous. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Nowadays, medical sciences have been witnessing an increase in the adoption of different structures of pills. Nevertheless, in the best scenario, these ways are ineffective, and on the worst occasion, they may be harmful. I disagree to a certain extent; however, there are some issues to consider. Both sides along with my perspective will be outlined in the following paragraphs.
6
band
Some people that the universities should provide graduates knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others, think that the true function of universities should give access to knowledge to its own shake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. What, in your opinion, should be the main function of a university?
The primary purpose of tertiary education is to prepare graduates for their future career. While thousands of people would enrol for the sake of acquiring general knowledge and skills which will make them competitive in the job market, there is a portion of them who would expect to obtain the specific qualifications only for their dream job. Therefore, I strongly believe that university should organise their courses’ programs in order to provide future employees with all the skill sharpening professional training for their specific occupation.
6
band
Many people think that money is the best gift to give a teenager, but others disagree. Discuss both the views and give your opinion including relevant examples.
There has been a long debate about whether encouraging adolescents by sending money is the most suitable method. From my perspective, the benefits brought by giving cash to youth are of greater significance than other forms of treats for several reasons.
4
band
Some people think that the best wat to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative wats or reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The given bar chart illustrates how much coffee and tea was imported by 4 particular nations.
7
band
International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the enviroment. Do the disadvantages of International tourism outweight the advantages?
Whilst it is believed that globalization has provided dozens of new tourism-related opportunities for many countries around the world, implications such as mass immigration and pollution are causing a salient concern for the locals. However, I think the positive payback of tourism will shadow its drawbacks in total.

some people say in order to prevent illness and disease governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Currently there is a trend towards the use of alternative forms of medicine. However, at best these methods are ineffective, and at worst they may be dangerous. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Many people think that money is the best gift to give a teenager, but others disagree. Discuss both the views and give your opinion including relevant examples.

Some people think that the best wat to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative wats or reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the enviroment. Do the disadvantages of International tourism outweight the advantages?