IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

some universities now offer their courses on the internet so that people can study online. Is it a positive or a negative development.

#universities #offer #courses #internet #people #study #development
It is true that several universities enable people to study online by delivering their sessions on the web.
Although
this
 trend leads to both positive and negative outcomes,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that the former
overshadow
Change the verb form
overshadows
show examples
 the latter. As far as the disadvantages are
concerened
Correct your spelling
concerned
, the prime one is that there is less direct interaction.
Students
 may not have the opportunity to interact face-to-face with the teacher.
Similarly
,
students
 studying online cannot socialise with each other, and
this
 could lead to no peer discussions and exchange of ideas. These
students
 will have to rely on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
written forms of communication. Another equally considerable fact is that technology is not
much
Rephrase
very
show examples
 effective. During
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online sessions or an important class,
students
 may be interrupted
due to
 network issues or any other technological bugs. Despite the abovementioned disadvantages, I still believe that
this
 trend can be seen in a positive way.
Firstly
, the most obvious benefit is that online lectures are flexible and time-saving.
The scholars
Correct article usage
Scholars
show examples
 who are unable to attend
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traditional classes
due to
 various reasons can attend those classes
through
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online.
Additionally
, they can save their time
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
travelling as well.
Secondly
,
students
 can acquire knowledge about
latest
Add an article
the latest
show examples
 technology. They would be aware of the new features of computers and technology
while
 attending
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
classes on the web.
Also
, they can learn about numerous technological and advanced
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
.
This
 knowledge will be helpful to them in
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 future as the upcoming era revolves around the A.I. . In conclusion, I restate
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
my opinion that there are certain drawbacks of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online studies,
while
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
still be considered largely a positive development.
Submitted by vcmshs on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction & Conclusion
Great job in providing a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate your view effectively. This establishes a strong framework for your argument.
Structure
You've demonstrated a good logical structure in your essay, making it easy to follow. To take it to the next level, consider varying sentence structures to add rhythm and flow to your paragraphs.
Supporting Examples
Supporting your main points with specific examples strengthens your argument. Adding more detailed instances or data, when possible, can further enrich your response.
Relevance & Focus
Maintaining focus on online learning throughout the essay was effective. To enhance task achievement, ensure that each paragraph distinctly contributes to addressing the prompt fully.
Vocabulary
The flexible use of vocabulary to express opinions and ideas.
Balance & Argumentation
Clear demarcation between the advantages and disadvantages, allowing for a balanced discussion.
Introduction & Conclusion
Effective introduction and conclusion, clearly presenting your stance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Distance learning
  • Flexible schedule
  • Virtual classroom
  • Digital resources
  • E-learning platforms
  • Asynchronous learning
  • Synchronous learning
  • Cost-effective
  • Self-paced study
  • Technical difficulties
  • Blended learning
  • Online modules
  • Remote access
  • Student engagement
What to do next:
Look at other essays: