Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many
people
nowadays have differing ideas as regards to
their Change preposition
apply
career
choice. One side says that receiving university-level
education is Correct article usage
a university-level
a
right path to succeed in Correct article usage
the
career
. Add an article
a career
the career
while
others argue working once school is over is the most successful preference. However
. I would argue that it is better to go to college or university
.
According to
some people
. the option to start work
straight after school may be attractive for several reasons. It is assumed by them that many young people
want to start earing
money as soon as possible. In Correct your spelling
earning
this
way. they can become independent, in the sense that they are likely to be able to afford their own house or start a family. In terns
of their Correct your spelling
terms
career
. young
Capitalize word
Young
people
who decide to find work
, rather than continue their studies, may progress quite quickly. They could have the chance to gam
real experience and learn practical skills related to their chosen profession, which may lead to promotions and a successful Verb problem
gain
career
.
However
, others, including me, believe that it is more beneficial for students to continue their studies. Firstly
, academic qualifications are required by a huge number of companies in many professions. For example
, it is almost impossible to become a doctor, teacher, engineer or lawyer without having the relevant degree from university
or college. Correct article usage
a university
As a result
, university
graduates have access to more and better, steady job opportunities, and accordingly
they tend to earn higher salaries than those with fewer qualifications. Add a comma
accordingly,
Secondly
, the job market is becoming increasingly competitive given that there are hundreds of applicants for one position in a company. Young people
who do not have qualifications from a
university
or college will not be able to compete. In light of this
growing rivalry among possible work
applicants, more and more individuals make efforts in the hope to become
more qualified for a relevant position.
In conclusion, considering the requirements of Change preposition
of becoming
work places
and rivalry among Correct your spelling
workplaces
work
applicants, I have come to the conclusion that students are more likely to be successful in their careers if they continue their studies beyond school
level.Correct article usage
the school
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structure
Your essay provides a well-structured argument with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that discuss each view, and a conclusion summarizing your stance. To enhance it further, ensure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the question prompt.
support
You’ve done a good job of providing examples to support your arguments. It can be beneficial to delve deeper into these examples by providing more specific details to fully demonstrate how they support your point.
accuracy
Pay close attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar to avoid small errors. Consider revising phrases and checking for any typing mistakes that could potentially distract readers from your arguments.
coherence
For coherence and cohesion, it's beneficial to use a variety of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas. You're on the right track, but consider integrating more complex connectors to demonstrate your proficiency.
task response
Your essay effectively discusses both views before providing your own opinion, which meets the task requirement well.
coherence
You demonstrate a clear logical progression of ideas throughout the essay, which aids in reader understanding and engagement.
content
The use of relevant examples strengthens your main points, making your argument more persuasive.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.