Some people say that modern technology has made shopping today easier, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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In the present world, some

argues

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argue

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that technologies nowadays have not made shopping easier, and some

agrees

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agree

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with the convenience that

developements

Correct your spelling

developments

offer. I agree that our

life

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lives

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are easier now.

This

Linking Words

will be analyzed by bringing up both sides of perspectives and my personal opinion.

Firstly

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, the most vital drawback of modern technology is that we see everything through

pannel

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a pannel

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, and

thus

Linking Words

lost

Wrong verb form

lose

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the opportunity

of touching

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to touch

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and

seeing

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see

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things physically. There might be

few

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a few

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concerns in between.

For example

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, when buying online, there can be a huge difference between the actual product and the shown product

from

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show examples

the website. In the worst case, one might encounter fraud or

counterfeit

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counterfeiting

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. Other than that, the lack of proper enforcement and laws in

this

Linking Words

new business field can pose

danger

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a danger

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to consumers of losing money.

However

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, the advantages of online shopping

has overweigh

Wrong verb form

outweigh

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the disadvantages. Time efficiency is definitely one of the top reasons.

For instance

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, let's say buying clothes online, new

techinques

Correct your spelling

techniques

saves

Correct subject-verb agreement

save

show examples

us from the exhausting process of fitting, and the products can be sent to our location after shopping.

Also

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, with big

datas

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data

and precise analysis, they can offer customized recommendations and allow us to find the most suitable choice as soon as possible.

Moreover

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, the authorities are putting more

emphasize

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emphasis

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and attention on these areas and topics, and are actively legislating correspondent laws to adapt to new technologies. Soon, the risks of shopping will be diminished to the lowest.

To sum up

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, though the progress of technology brings us both positive and negative impacts,

yet

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apply

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the benefits are likely to exceed the downsides. They save us from time-consuming tasks

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apply

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and avoid wasting unnecessary focus on trivial things. They

also

Linking Words

can provide us with better

choice

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choices

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through

computering

Correct your spelling

computing

enormous

datas

Correct your spelling

data

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and leads to more efficient decision-making.

lil40629890Tue Apr 23 2024

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Structure

Remember to maintain consistency in your viewpoint throughout the essay. Your introduction suggested a clear position, but developing your argument with more balanced examination of both views before concluding would strengthen your response.

Content

Work on providing more specific and varied examples to support your arguments. Detailed examples add depth and clarity, making your essay more convincing.

Language

Pay attention to small grammatical errors and spelling mistakes, as they can slightly distract from your overall message. Proofreading can help eliminate these errors.

Coherence

To enhance the coherence of your essay, try to ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs and within them. This can be achieved by using a wider range of connecting words and phrases.

Task Response

You've effectively covered both views and provided a clear personal opinion, which is crucial for Task 2.

Structure

Your essay structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, helps in clearly presenting your ideas.

Content

Your argument on the time efficiency of modern technology in shopping is compelling and relevant.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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