The line graph below shows the number of cell phone subscribers in a particular city, by gender

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The line chart illustrates the number of phone joiners in a specific city by men and

women

Use synonyms

residents in Marycille City from 1995 to 2015.

Overall

Linking Words

, both male and female followers witnessed a dramatic increase between 1995 and 2005.

Additionally

Linking Words

it is clear that

Linking Words

women

Use synonyms

primarily subscribe in the first ten years.

However

Linking Words

, they are surpassed by men in the second half of the period.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

women

Use synonyms

's phone subscribers started the period at roughly 600 in 1995 and jumped to 2500 in 2005,

however

Linking Words

, the total slightly dropped to approximately 2300 in 2010,

in addition

Linking Words

, female participants hovered at the same statistic until the end of the period.

on the other hand

Linking Words

, male joiners began with 500 in the same year that

women

Use synonyms

did (1995) and witnessed a dramatic increase up to 2500 in 2005 and stayed the same up to 2010.

Afterward

Change the spelling

Afterwards

show examples

, it

leveled

Change the spelling

levelled

show examples

off at

this

Linking Words

number until in 2030, it gradually shot up to the highest point at 2700.

amotoh10Tue Apr 23 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words women with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 2 times.

▼

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

164 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Nowadays online shopping is extremely popular. Discuss the impact of it on the environment and on people who lost their jobs because of it.
As time goes by, online shopping is gaining popularity gradually. Nowadays, it is really difficult to find someone who does not use online shopping. Surely, online shopping has changed our way of living easily. However, there is still growing debate over whether online shopping is positive or negative.
8
band
Some people think that life is better in cities, however others claim that village life is far better. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many individuals argue that living in the cities allows more opportunities, while others believe that living in the village is a better option to live. In my opinion, the tranquillity and social connection of living in rural areas offer more significant impacts than the advantages when living in urban areas. This essay will examine both views before presenting why I strongly believe village life is superior.
7
band
The differences between countries are becoming less and less evident, as people all over the world wear the same fashions, use the same brands, have similar eating habits and watch the same TV channels. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?
In the contemporary world, everyone struggles to spend a lavish lifestyle, and therefore, the standard of living worldwide has reached a plateau. Albeit the trend of spending an equivalent lifestyle possesses a set of merits and demerits, I firmly assert that the positives of such a trend overpowers the negatives.
6.5
band
You are planning a short visit to a city where one of your relatives lives. Write a letter to your relative. In your letter: • Explain when and how long you will be in town. • Ask whether you can stay at their home. • Offer to pay for yourself. You do not need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ...,
It has been a long time since I saw you. Hope you and Uncle John are doing well. I have some exciting news. I will be in Sydney soon and I'm so happy to be able to visit you guys as I've missed both of you.
6.5
band
Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give the reasons and relative examples upon your own experiences.
Business has always been considered a cut-throat competition in which enterprises relentlessly make a huge effort to attract customers and gain profit. In order to build a customer base, numerous corporations these days introduce that their products are innovative in some aspects. While such practices have their own merits and demerits, I strongly support that these promotions indicate a positive development in the industry, which will be further explained by discussing the root causes of this trend in the following essay.

The line graph below shows the number of cell phone subscribers in a particular city, by gender

Nowadays online shopping is extremely popular. Discuss the impact of it on the environment and on people who lost their jobs because of it.

Some people think that life is better in cities, however others claim that village life is far better. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The differences between countries are becoming less and less evident, as people all over the world wear the same fashions, use the same brands, have similar eating habits and watch the same TV channels. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give the reasons and relative examples upon your own experiences.