IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

If a person is found to be under the influence of drugs or alcohol while driving, they should be banned from driving for life, whether they were involved in an accident or not. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#person #influence #drugs #alcohol #life #accident
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It is argued that if
people
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 use illegal substances or
alcohol
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, they should not be allowed to
drive
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 under any circumstance, which
warrant
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warrants
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termination
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the termination
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 of their driving license permanently, regardless
whether
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of whether
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 they are involved in
any
Correct your spelling
an
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 accident or not. I completely agree with the statement because
this
Linking Words
 is one of the many ways to prevent harm to innocent
people
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 and there are other options available than driving. Drivers who
drive
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while
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 intoxicated with drugs or
alcohol
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 should be prohibited from driving permanently to avoid innocent bystanders being harmed. Under the influence, one
loss
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loses
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 the ability to
drive
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 properly
due to
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 impaired judgement clouded by those substances, and could easily
causes
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cause
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accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
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,
hence
Linking Words
, stricter punishment is needed to educate the community on the weight of their action.
For example
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, in the UK, individuals causing death by dangerous driving or careless driving under
Correct article usage
the influences
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influences
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influence
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 can receive
lifetime
Correct article usage
a lifetime
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 driving ban,
however
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, I believe that the law should be exercised regardless if
accident
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an accident
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 happen or not.
In addition
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, lifelong driving prohibition should be imposed to remind drivers that they have alternative transportation methods after drinking.
People
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 will be afraid of losing their driving
privilege
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privileges
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 and trying their best to avoid driving after consumption of
alcohol
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 or illegal substance.
For example
Linking Words
, in South Korea, which
popular
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is popular
show examples
 with drinking culture, there are hired driver services available for
people
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 who wish to avoid driving after a drinking party, which can be reserved ahead or by call, depending on the situation. In conclusion, it is argued that someone who
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drive
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drives
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 after drinking
alcohol
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 or using drugs should be prohibited
to
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from driving
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drive
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 for life to protect the public from harm and there are other options than driving under
heavy
Correct article usage
the heavy
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 influence
from
Change preposition
of
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 those substances.
Submitted by shaz.777 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on varying sentence structures to enhance readability and flow.
task achievement
Try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely.
task achievement
Consider balancing both views, even if you strongly agree or disagree, to show a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction concisely presents your opinion, setting a clear direction for the essay.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your argument, reinforcing your stance on the issue.
task achievement
You've effectively used examples to support your points, enhancing the persuasiveness of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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