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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions #summarise #features #comparisons
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The given line graph compares how many
people
Use synonyms
 live in
cities
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 of four nations,
Philippines
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, Malaysia,
Tailand
Correct your spelling
Thailand
 and Indonesia over the 50-year period, with
prediction
Fix the agreement mistake
predictions
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 for 2030 and 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
, It is noticeable that the percentage of
people
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 living in
cities
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 experienced a trend of increase in four countries. the number of
people
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 living in Malaysia and Indonesia
cities
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were
Verb problem
increased
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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significant
Change the word
significantly
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 rise,
while
Linking Words
 the
figure
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 for
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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fluctuation. Around 30% of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
 population lived in
Malasia
Correct your spelling
Malaysia
city
Capitalize word
City
show examples
 in 1970, which was slightly lower than those who lived in
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
.
Afte
Correct your spelling
After
show examples
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
, the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 living in
Malasia
Correct your spelling
Malaysia
city
Capitalize word
City
show examples
 have experienced a significant increase since 1976, reaching above 70% in 2020.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
people
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 living in
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 fluctuated from 31% in 1970 to 43% in 2010. The
figure
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 for
people
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 who lived in Indonesia city was by far the lowest point at approximately 13%, but it rose sharply following the 50-year
peroid
Correct your spelling
period
 to 50%, overtaking the
figure
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 for Thailand in 2000 and
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Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 in 2010, reaching 50% in 2020.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the proportion of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
 population living in
Tailand
Correct your spelling
Thailand
 just increased gradually from almost 20% in 1970 to 30% in 2020.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the
figure
Use synonyms
 of population in four
cities
Use synonyms
 will be expected to increase in 2030 and 2040.
Submitted by h14030013 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, cities, philippines, figure with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • cities
  • Asian countries
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • estimations
  • urban
  • increasing
  • steadily
  • Japan
  • China
  • rise
  • urbanization
  • South Korea
  • India
  • upward trend
  • slow pace
  • surpass
  • resided
  • projected
  • moderate increase
  • significant surge
  • exceed
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