Some educationalists think that international exchange visits will benefit teenagers at the school. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Nowadays, many
intellecturals
Correct your spelling
intellectuals
suppose that international exchange visits will have a positive impact on adolescents at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school. From my perspective, I personally think that more advantages will be brought for
students
instead
of drawbacks. In
this
essay, I will discuss both views of
this
phenomenon and give my own view. On the one hand, a school exchange might be unfavourable for a few people who are introverted and might be they feel
challenging
Replace the word
challenged
show examples
because they would be apart from their families and have to meet and communicate with new friends. Another
disadvantages
Replace the adjective
disadvantage
show examples
is that if the schools do not have financial support for these activities,
then
parents
must
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
pay a large amount of money for their children to be able to participate like transportation
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
, accommodation, and so on,...
On the other hand
, study tours have
Correct article usage
an effectively
show examples
effectively
Change the word
effective
show examples
influence on
students
in many ways, whether academic or personal. Since being exposed to other countries,
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
can learn about
culturals
Correct your spelling
cultural
cultures
and local people’s
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
, which not only
offer
Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
show examples
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
interesting learning experience but
also
make
Verb problem
gives
show examples
them more historical knowledge.
Moreover
,
Correct article usage
a benefits
show examples
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
brought
bt
Correct your spelling
by
show examples
internationl
Correct your spelling
international
exposure
is
Verb problem
includes
show examples
learning foreign languages,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
could give them a hand to easier when having conversations with other foreign
students
.
Lastly
,
this
activity could lead to character
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
show examples
,
while
students
are far from their
parents
, they would be
abot
Correct your spelling
able
to live independently and have
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
discipline.
Inconclusion
Correct your spelling
In conclusion
show examples
,
although
international exchange visits might have some negative impact on
students
like being apart from their
parents
or high-saving which the
parents
have to pay.
However
, in my opinion, I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
the upsides of
this
activity outweigh the downsides because of several reasons
such
as
a
Change the article
an
show examples
interesting learning experience including
culturals
Correct your spelling
culture
, local people’s lifestyle, historical knowledge, foreign languages, and character
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
show examples
.
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

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Grammar
Ensure consistent and correct use of tense throughout your essay to maintain clarity.
Grammar
Work on varying your sentence structures to enhance the readability of your essay.
Development
Consider expanding on your examples with more detail to fully illustrate your arguments.
Mechanics
Pay attention to spelling and punctuation to avoid simple mistakes.
Task Response
Your essay introduces a clear stance on the topic, which is maintained throughout.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your paragraphing effectively separates different ideas, aiding the essay's organization.
Content
You've done well to include both the advantages and disadvantages, providing a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • educationalists
  • international exchange visits
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • outweigh
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • school
  • exposes
  • different cultures
  • perspectives
  • enhances
  • language skills
  • promotes
  • independence
  • self-confidence
  • builds
  • lifelong friendships
  • provides
  • unique learning experiences
  • expensive
  • homesickness
  • emotional distress
  • careful planning
  • logistical arrangements
  • disrupt
  • academic progress
  • safety
  • security risks
  • cultural appropriation
  • misunderstandings
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