Some people say libraries are important in society as a place to get information and use books.often say as computers are advanced, libraries are a waste of money and resources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Due to
the advancement of
technology
Add a comma
technology,
show examples
there is
an
Change the article
a
show examples
debate ongoing
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
regarding
library
Fix the agreement mistake
libraries
show examples
.
Alot
Correct your spelling
A lot
number of individuals believe that
libraries
are an essential
place
for the local
communiety
Correct your spelling
community
and people can use all the
books
from
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
and get
desired
Add an article
the desired
show examples
information.
In contrast
, other folks argue that
libraries
uses
Change the verb form
use
show examples
a
lot
of money and resources and
therefore
advanced technology
such
as computers should be used.
Hence
, both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views are
further
discussed in
this
essay and my opinion at
last
. →
Firstly
, discussing the former viewpoint, the first and prominent point is that,
library
Add an article
the library
show examples
is a
place
to study or get more information about a topic they are
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
important
place
from where anyone can read
books
and buy them for a certain amount of
timest
Correct your spelling
time at
a low cost.
Moreover
,
students
depend on
libraries
at
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
lot
.
For instance
,
this
place
provides
pin drop
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pin-drop
show examples
silence,
as a
result
Add the comma(s)
result,
show examples
no one is allowed to make even
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
amount of noise.
Thus
,
students
who are not able to concentrate on their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
in their house for whatever reasons can easily concentrate here.
Therefore
, the academic performance of the
students
can improve by
useage
Correct your spelling
usage
of
libraries
. →
However
, other people are against
maintaing
Correct your spelling
maintaining
libraries
there are several reasons behind it .
To begin
with, in the era of modernisation computers must be used in
place
of
libraries
, because they need a
lot
of area for
books
and a
lot
Correct your spelling
large
show examples
number of staff members
also
Add a missing verb
are also
show examples
needed
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
maintaing
Correct your spelling
maintain
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
,
whereas
thousands of
books
worth of information can be stored inside a single computer and they don't need much space and resources.
Besides
this
, as time passes by the
books
in
libraries
can become old and their pages will
torn
Change the verb form
be torn
show examples
due to
insects or
due to
moisture,
while
this
can't happen in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
of computers. Conclusively, I believe that
libraries
must be preserved, because several
students
can study there
as well as
common people can buy
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
at a very low price.
As a result
, I support the
formar
Correct your spelling
former
format
view.
Submitted by akshayashvi07 on

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structure
Introduction and conclusion are present, but make sure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your conclusion summarises your main points and opinion more distinctly.
coherence
For further improvement, work on connecting your ideas more smoothly. Transitions between paragraphs can be enhanced by using phrases that clearly show the relationship between paragraphs.
content
Integrate more specific examples to support your viewpoints. This adds depth to your essay and reinforces your arguments.
accuracy
Remember to revise your essay for minor grammatical errors and typos to improve clarity.
content
You provided a balanced discussion on both views, which is essential in addressing the task.
structure
Your essay exhibits a clear structure with designated sections for each viewpoint and your opinion, which aids understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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