The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The images illustrate the original layout from 1920 of a public
park
, namely Grange
Park
, and are currently displayed.
Overall
,
it is clear that
the plans depict significant changes in facilities, including the introduction of a new entrance, and the replacement of a fountain, a pond, and a glasshouse.
Furthermore
, it
also
expanded the stage, reduced some rose gardens, and relocated the seating. Previously, visitors who entered the
park
would see a fountain in the centre, and today it has been replaced by a large rose garden.
Additionally
, there is a new underground car
park
entrance.
Subsequently
, when the
park
first opened, there was a pond for water plants in the corner, and it has been replaced by a children's play area.
Similarly
, the glasshouse has
also
been changed to a large water feature. In other areas, a stage for musicians has been extended to an
amphitheater
Change the spelling
amphitheatre
show examples
for larger concerts than before.
Moreover
, two gardens have been removed. One of them has become a cafe, and another has been eliminated.
On the other hand
, all of the seating has been relocated to the centre, around the rose garden.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure the introduction presents a clear overview of the main topic and differences over time effectively.
complete response
Consider beginning with a more distinct introduction of the park's name and its significance, followed by a comparative analysis from 1920 to the present.
logical structure
Try to use a variety of connecting words and phrases to improve flow between sentences and paragraphs.
supported main points
Be cautious with details to prevent any slight inaccuracies and ensure all comparisons are directly linked to the changes depicted in the plans.
complete response
Effectively summarizes and compares the changes in the park's layout and facilities from 1920 to the present.
relevant specific examples
Good use of comparative language to highlight differences, enhancing task achievement.
logical structure
Maintains a clear focus on the main features throughout the essay, showing good coherence.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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