Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case ? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
In recent days, there has been an inclination that children are now spending hours immersing themselves
into
Change preposition
in
virtual
world. Some Add an article
the virtual
a virtual
people
are holding the expression whether this
mobile device is a beneficial or detrimental advancement, I am of the former opinion. In this
essay, I will elucidate the causes of this
trend before presenting my thought
about Fix the agreement mistake
thoughts
this
phenomenon.
There are many crucial causes explaining why the youth are spending more time on smartphones
. Firstly
, in the past, while
there were no technological devices
that had been exposed to the young, children often chose to hang out with friends for outdoor activities. By contrast
, as smartphones
are released to youngsters nowadays, they are finding that entertaining in a virtual world is also
as fun as in real life, as a result
, spending more time on mobile is unavoidable. Moreover
, smartphones
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphone
manulfacturer
are now enough smart to meet the demand of the youth by Correct your spelling
manufacturer
manufacturers
prducing
gaming phones that can Correct your spelling
producing
apeal
them to buy.
Despite the aforementioned Correct your spelling
appeal
of
Change preposition
apply
its
negative effects, I am of the opinion that these mobile Correct pronoun usage
apply
devices
are also
a positive development in today's life. To begin
with, these smart devices
are facilitating our lives better, as it can be seen that people
nowadays are owning
Wrong verb form
own
smartphones
for themselves. This
can be explained because these devices
are an indispensable part of our lives, just because they can help us communicate with our relatives no matter where they are. Besides
that, this
smart thing is the go-to choice option for many people
who want to relax after a hard-working
day. Correct your spelling
hard working
As a result
, smartphones
are playing a vital role in every people
's lives
In conclusion, despite the drawbacks of
Change preposition
apply
smartphones
causing
to children nowadays, I hold the opinion that these smart Wrong verb form
cause
devices
are the technological advancement of the modern world.Submitted by lamdactuanga on
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Task Achievement
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Coherence & Cohesion
Refine your usage of linking phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs, enhancing overall coherence.
Language Accuracy
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Task Response
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Task Response
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay's main points and restates your opinion, contributing to a good closure.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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